I Ask To Be
Hamlet Dear, Your Problem Is Clear
Neither A Borrower
of Gilliganís Island
[The curtain rises. Hamlet stands stage center.]
I ask to be or not to be, A rogue or peasant slave is what
you see; A boy who loved his motherís knee, And so I ask
to be or not to be. So hereís my plea, I beg of you, And say
you see a little hope for me. To fight or flee, to fight or flee,
I ask myself to be or not to be.
[Enter King Claudius and Queen Certrude]
CLAUDIUS AND GERTRUDE:
(Sing) He asks to be or not to be, A rogue or
peasant slave is what you see;
GERTRUDE: (Sings) My son who loved his motherís knee,
CLAUDIUS AND GERTRUDE: (Sing) And so he asks to
be or not to be. So hereís his plea, we beg of thee, And say
we see a little hope for he.
HAMLET: (Sings) To fight or flee, to fight or flee, I ask
myself to be or not to be.
Exit Claudius and Certrude.]
HAMLET: Hark! I do believe I hear the fair Ophelia.
OPHELIA: My Lord Hamlet is troubled.
HAMLET: Yea, verily, my heart is heavy. I cannot marry
thee, Ophelia. There is nothing left for you, but to get thee
to a notary.
OPHELIA: Ah, my poor Hamlet. Ah, my poor Hamlet.
(Sings) Hamlet, dear, your problem is clear, Avenging thy
fatherís death; You seek to harm your uncle and mom, But
youíre scaring me to death. While I die and sigh and cry,
That love is everything; Youíre content to try to touch, The
conscience of a king. Since the day when your dad met his
fate, You just brood and you donít touch your food; You
hate your ma, mad at my pa, Youíll kill the king or some
silly thing. So Hamlet. Hamlet, do be a man, let Rotten
enough alone. From Ophelia no one can steal yea Youíll
always be my own, Leave the gravediggerís scene, If you
know what I mean. Danish pastry for two, For me, for you.
HAMLET: In truth Ophelia, you have said a mouthful.
OPHELIA: Hamlet, I have so much more to offer. But hark!
Me thinks me hear the heavy footsteps of my father,
HAMLET: And the laughter of your brother and my friend,
OPHELIA: Oh, they must not find us here. But where to
HAMLET: Hide anyplace. But donít go near the water.
[Exit Hamlet and Ophelia]
LAERTES: Father, my ship sails at the tide.
POLONIUS: A mornent, my son, for I have something to
LAERTES: But I ask only for my allowance.
Ah, but I shall give you something far more available:
Do you know how much wine you can buy in Paris
POLONIUS: Paris is a wild and wicked town. And you are
but a young and innocent boy.
(To audience) Oh, could I tell him a few stories.
POLONIUS: Heed my words, Laertes, and youíll be safe.
LAERTES: (Inless I listen, I wonít get my spending money.
So Iíll listen, Iíll listen.
POLONIUS: (Sings) Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
Do not forget: Stay out of debt; Think twice, and take this
good advice from me, Guard that old solvency. Thereís just
one other thing you ought to do. To thine own self be true.
[Enter entire cast]
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
Do not forget: Stay out of debt;
Think twice, and take this good advice from me,
Guard that old solvency.
Thereís just one other thing you ought to do,
To thine own self be true.