What are your favorite quotes from Gilligan's Island? Even if you don't
have a favorite one, you can still browse through these and get a chuckle.
This might be a good place to go when you have one of those bad days! To
submit your quote, just e-mail me at
email@example.com When submitting, please use the exact words
used from the show. Oh, and please pick some good ones! Lame ones won't be
Skipper: Oh, never mind, Professor, I'll test her myself! Now Ginger, start reading.
Ginger: Um, 36. 22. (pauses and looks at Skipper) 36? (does naughty fingers)
Skipper: Well, Ginger, I was trying to figure out the longitude and latitude of,....this island.
Gilligan: Oh no you weren't, Skipper, you were thinking about Gin-
Skipper: Never mind, Gilligan! You try, Professor.
Professor: All right, Ginger, read my mind.
Ginger: 36, 22, 36.
Professor: Well, that's just the atomic weight of sodium hydro-chloride.
Skipper: We're trying to signal that boat out there?
Gilligan: What boat?
Skipper: The boat out there.
Gilligan: I don't see any boat.
Skipper: Of course you don't.
Gilligan: Do you?
Gilligan: Professor, do you see the boat?
Professor: Oh, I can't see it either.
Gilligan: But it's out there, right?
Skipper: Look, Mary Ann saw the boat out there.
Gilligan: Can you see Mary Ann?
Skipper: No. How can I see Mary Ann when she isn't even here?
Gilligan: The same way you can see the boat.
Ginger: Mary Ann is under the impression that I've been getting you to do
all my work for me.
Skipper: (Looks at camera)
Ginger: So you think so too?! Well, do you know what I think?!
Skipper: I most certainly do!!!
Thurston: Oh Gilligan.
Gilligan: Oh hi Mr. and Mrs. Howell.
Lovey: Is there something wrong Gilligan?
Thurston: Yes yes my boy. You seem like you're in another world.
Gilligan: Mr. Howell don't say that, I want to stay here in this world.
Thurston: Permission granted. HAH!
Lovey: Thurston you're so democratic.
Thurston: Lovey, Lovey. Watch your language.
Bongo: I thought you said we were going to get away from our fans!
Bango: Yeah you said this island was deserted, and we'd be all alone!
Bingo: Now how did I know it was inhabited? That helicopter pilot told
me this place was out of sight man!
Bango: We MUST be way out! Get a load of these characters!
Skipper: What time did you say this was Professor?
Professor: Shortly after 11.
Skipper: Oh well then it couldn't have been me or Gilligan because we were
both sound asleep.
Professor: Both of you?
Skipper: Well yes, eh...
Professor: Well then, eh, Skipper if you were asleep how could you know that
Skipper: Becasue he told me when he woke up.
Professor: Well if Gilligan was asleep, how could he know that you were?
Skipper: Well because I.... a... well...... yes. If there's anything I
can't stand is logic!
Professor: We all appreciate your sacrifice Gilligan, but we need something
that won't interfere with the camera lens. Some type of glue.
Thurston: Oh! Well, let's start drilling for some immediately!
Skipper: Oh Mr. Howell, you don't drill for glue!
Thurston: Oh no? You should see some of the oil wells I got stuck with!
Lovey: Oh Professor you're marrrrrvelous
Thurston: If you were Republican you'd be perfect!
Gilligan: You didn't say something, the penny mention worker barbecue pit!
Lovey: Skipper, my name happens to be Wentworth. And it remains Wentworth until after the ceramony.
Skipper: Yes, ma'am.
Thurston: Lovey, don't be so stubborn. You Mrs. Howell much longer than you were Ms. Wentworth.
Lovey: Is that a remark concerning my age?
Gilligan: One Skipper, two Skipper, three Professor four....
Skipper: Five Professor, six Professor, seven Professor more...
Professor: Ginger, I've got no time for Tom Foolery.
Ginger: I've got time for Tom, Dick and Harry Foolery too!!!!
Thurston: No one can pull the wool over my eyes. Cashmere maybe, but wool,
Lovey: I don't know how we're going to explain to our friends that we
spent several years with people who aren't even in the social
Skipper: Ginger's very damaging to us.
Gilligan: Yeah, her testimony.
Skipper: No, her legs.
Mary Ann: Oh, here's an old slate bracelet, and old boyfriend in high school gave me.
Ginger: How can you bear to part with it? Doesn't it do something to you?
Mary Ann: Oh, yeah! Turns my wrist green.
Professor: I have an idea that may well be instrumental in securing for us
deliverance from our enforced isolation.
Professor: Gilligan, Benjamin Franklin is dead.
Gilligan: He's dead? I didn't even know he was sick!
Skipper: Gilligan, why don't you stop that. You don't know anything about
Gilligan: I know one thing about it. You take up more of it than I do.
Producer: You call yourselves actors!?
Gilligan: I don't call myself an actor.
Producer: If I say you're an actor you're an actor!
Gilligan: Ok! I'm an actor!
Producer: Believe me, you are NO actor!
Gilligan: Skipper, let's have breakfast.
Skipper: We had breakfast.
Gilligan: Let's have lunch.
Skipper: We had lunch.
Gilligan: Let's have dinner.
Skipper & Gilligan : We had dinner too.
Skipper: (Talking about Gilligan) I don't dislike him. I mean, it's just
that I'd like to kill him every now and then.
Gilligan: Hiya, Professor. What are you doing?
Professor: I'm making notes for a book. It's to be a chronicle of our adventures
on the island... I think it's a book people will want to buy, don't you?
Gilligan: Sure, I'll buy one. I'm dying to find out what happens to us.
Professor: Stick out your tongue. Ahh yes, I think we'll have to operate!
Mary Ann: Operate! What have I got?
Professor: You have a severe case of roomisigloomis.
Gilligan: Zat is what she has alright.
Mary Ann: What is roomisigloomis?
Professor: It's a medical term my dear no concern of yours.
Thurston: It is rather difficult being rich. If it wasn't for the money,
I'd rather be poor.
Gilligan: Mr. Howell, do you want your cufflings back?
Thurston: Do you think that I am the kind of man who would take back a
Thurston: Look behind every successful man, and you'll find a woman.
Gilligan: Yes, sir.
Thurston: Just make sure his wife doesn't find her.
Thurston: Do you think I began a dozen international corporations by
stooping to thievery?
Professor: Well, of course not.
Thurston: Shows how naive you are. How else do you get to the top of the
Skipper: Mrs. Howell are you well?
Lovey: Not very.
Gilligan: Mrs. Howell, I might blow up.
Lovey: Oh, don't you dare get angry with me!
Gilligan: Pulu see Bagoomba.
Professor: That's right now hit the words hard and sound like you're mad.
Gilligan: Pugie loo kimbammba !
Professor: No! No. Pulu see Bagoomba. Now try it again.
Lovey: I understand everything perfectly! Ginger isn't Ginger anymore, because
Mary Ann isn't who she was, when Ginger wasn't who she is, isn't that right Skipper?
Skipper: Mr. Howell, You don't know what it's like out there in the ocean,
you may be bitten by a shark!
Thurston: A shark bite a Howell, ha ha he wouldn't dare.
Skipper: Besides we don't have room enough for your luggage.
Thurston: Well that's different. If I can't go first class I won't go at all.
Skipper: What are you stopping for?
Skipper: Never mind, I'll go ahead, Ooop!
Gilligan: There's an old rock there.
Skipper: Thanks alot Gilligan. Cut that out.
Gilligan: aye aye.
Gilligan: Another one.
Ghost: Wait...I hear a feet step...
Boss: You hear a FEET STEP?
Gilligan: Hey Skipper, what does this remind you of?
Skipper: I don't know Gilligan...it must have just crawled in there.
Ginger: Hold me tighter Professor.
Professor: I..uh I'm afraid I'll crush your dress.
Gilligan: You know what my grandmother always said, 'Never criticize
anyone else unless you can do better yourself.'
Ginger: That's it! Gilligan, you've done it again!
Gilligan: I don't know what it is that I'm doing, but I sure as heck keep
Professor: It would take a polyester derivative of an organic hydroxide
Professor: Kissing on the mouth is far from sanitary. It can lead to all
sorts of bacterial transfer.
Thurston: This is a very difficult instrument (the Triangle). It's easy to
play a wind instrument.
Skipper: Yeah, especially for you with all that hot air.
Thurston: Heavens to Toscanini! I've been insulted!
Skipper: Gilligan, I can't seem to find a coconut that's big enough for my
Gilligan: You should have gone to the other side of the island and got a
Skipper: I don't think that's very funny.
Gilligan: All I mean is that you're a big guy and got a big head...
Gilligan: And a big heart.
Skipper: Yes....well.....what is it that you're doing?
Gilligan: Making you. (Stuffing a life-sized manican of the Skipper)
Skipper: That's suppose to be me?
Gilligan: Only the bottom half.
Skipper: Come on Gilligan, I'm not this big!
Gilligan: Well Skipper, you said to make it life-like, remember?
Skipper: But I'm not that big Gilligan!
Gilligan: Sure you are.
Skipper: I am not!!!
Gilligan: Sure you are.
Skipper: I am not Gilligan!!!
Gilligan: Sure you are.
Skipper: I am not!!! (WHACK!)