Gilligan's Island Quotes

What are your favorite quotes from Gilligan's Island? Even if you don't have a favorite one, you can still browse through these and get a chuckle. This might be a good place to go when you have one of those bad days! To submit your quote, just e-mail me at When submitting, please use the exact words used from the show. Oh, and please pick some good ones! Lame ones won't be accepted.

Skipper: Oh, never mind, Professor, I'll test her myself! Now Ginger, start reading. Ginger: Um, 36. 22. (pauses and looks at Skipper) 36? (does naughty fingers) Skipper: Well, Ginger, I was trying to figure out the longitude and latitude of,....this island. Gilligan: Oh no you weren't, Skipper, you were thinking about Gin- Skipper: Never mind, Gilligan! You try, Professor. Professor: All right, Ginger, read my mind. Ginger: 36, 22, 36. Professor: Well, that's just the atomic weight of sodium hydro-chloride.
Skipper: We're trying to signal that boat out there? Gilligan: What boat? Skipper: The boat out there. Gilligan: I don't see any boat. Skipper: Of course you don't. Gilligan: Do you? Skipper: No. Gilligan: Professor, do you see the boat? Professor: Oh, I can't see it either. Gilligan: But it's out there, right? Skipper: Look, Mary Ann saw the boat out there. Gilligan: Can you see Mary Ann? Skipper: No. How can I see Mary Ann when she isn't even here? Gilligan: The same way you can see the boat.
Ginger: Mary Ann is under the impression that I've been getting you to do all my work for me. Skipper: (Looks at camera) Ginger: So you think so too?! Well, do you know what I think?! Skipper: I most certainly do!!!
Thurston: Oh Gilligan. Gilligan: Oh hi Mr. and Mrs. Howell. Lovey: Is there something wrong Gilligan? Thurston: Yes yes my boy. You seem like you're in another world. Gilligan: Mr. Howell don't say that, I want to stay here in this world. Thurston: Permission granted. HAH! Lovey: Thurston you're so democratic. Thurston: Lovey, Lovey. Watch your language.
Bongo: I thought you said we were going to get away from our fans! Bango: Yeah you said this island was deserted, and we'd be all alone! Bingo: Now how did I know it was inhabited? That helicopter pilot told me this place was out of sight man! Bango: We MUST be way out! Get a load of these characters!
Skipper: What time did you say this was Professor? Professor: Shortly after 11. Skipper: Oh well then it couldn't have been me or Gilligan because we were both sound asleep. Professor: Both of you? Skipper: Well yes, eh... Professor: Well then, eh, Skipper if you were asleep how could you know that Gilligan was? Skipper: Becasue he told me when he woke up. Professor: Well if Gilligan was asleep, how could he know that you were? Skipper: Well because I.... a... well...... yes. If there's anything I can't stand is logic!
Professor: We all appreciate your sacrifice Gilligan, but we need something that won't interfere with the camera lens. Some type of glue. Thurston: Oh! Well, let's start drilling for some immediately! Skipper: Oh Mr. Howell, you don't drill for glue! Thurston: Oh no? You should see some of the oil wells I got stuck with! Eeyahahaha!
Lovey: Oh Professor you're marrrrrvelous Thurston: If you were Republican you'd be perfect!
Gilligan: You didn't say something, the penny mention worker barbecue pit!
Lovey: Skipper, my name happens to be Wentworth. And it remains Wentworth until after the ceramony. Skipper: Yes, ma'am. Thurston: Lovey, don't be so stubborn. You Mrs. Howell much longer than you were Ms. Wentworth. Lovey: Is that a remark concerning my age?
Gilligan: One Skipper, two Skipper, three Professor four.... Skipper: Five Professor, six Professor, seven Professor more...
Professor: Ginger, I've got no time for Tom Foolery. Ginger: I've got time for Tom, Dick and Harry Foolery too!!!!
Thurston: No one can pull the wool over my eyes. Cashmere maybe, but wool, never.
Lovey: I don't know how we're going to explain to our friends that we spent several years with people who aren't even in the social register.
Skipper: Ginger's very damaging to us. Gilligan: Yeah, her testimony. Skipper: No, her legs.
Mary Ann: Oh, here's an old slate bracelet, and old boyfriend in high school gave me. Ginger: How can you bear to part with it? Doesn't it do something to you? Mary Ann: Oh, yeah! Turns my wrist green.
Professor: I have an idea that may well be instrumental in securing for us deliverance from our enforced isolation.
Professor: Gilligan, Benjamin Franklin is dead. Skipper: Exactly. Gilligan: He's dead? I didn't even know he was sick!
Skipper: Gilligan, why don't you stop that. You don't know anything about space. Gilligan: I know one thing about it. You take up more of it than I do.
Producer: You call yourselves actors!? Gilligan: I don't call myself an actor. Producer: If I say you're an actor you're an actor! Gilligan: Ok! I'm an actor! Producer: Believe me, you are NO actor!
Gilligan: Skipper, let's have breakfast. Skipper: We had breakfast. Gilligan: Let's have lunch. Skipper: We had lunch. Gilligan: Let's have dinner. Skipper & Gilligan : We had dinner too.
Skipper: (Talking about Gilligan) I don't dislike him. I mean, it's just that I'd like to kill him every now and then.
Gilligan: Hiya, Professor. What are you doing? Professor: I'm making notes for a book. It's to be a chronicle of our adventures on the island... I think it's a book people will want to buy, don't you? Gilligan: Sure, I'll buy one. I'm dying to find out what happens to us.
Professor: Stick out your tongue. Ahh yes, I think we'll have to operate! Mary Ann: Operate! What have I got? Professor: You have a severe case of roomisigloomis. Gilligan: Zat is what she has alright. Mary Ann: What is roomisigloomis? Professor: It's a medical term my dear no concern of yours.
Thurston: It is rather difficult being rich. If it wasn't for the money, I'd rather be poor.
Gilligan: Mr. Howell, do you want your cufflings back? Thurston: Do you think that I am the kind of man who would take back a bribe, sir?
Thurston: Look behind every successful man, and you'll find a woman. Gilligan: Yes, sir. Thurston: Just make sure his wife doesn't find her.
Thurston: Do you think I began a dozen international corporations by stooping to thievery? Professor: Well, of course not. Thurston: Shows how naive you are. How else do you get to the top of the corporate ladder!
Skipper: Mrs. Howell are you well? Lovey: Not very.
Gilligan: Mrs. Howell, I might blow up. Lovey: Oh, don't you dare get angry with me!
Gilligan: Pulu see Bagoomba. Professor: That's right now hit the words hard and sound like you're mad. Gilligan: Pugie loo kimbammba ! Professor: No! No. Pulu see Bagoomba. Now try it again.
Lovey: I understand everything perfectly! Ginger isn't Ginger anymore, because Mary Ann isn't who she was, when Ginger wasn't who she is, isn't that right Skipper?
Skipper: Mr. Howell, You don't know what it's like out there in the ocean, you may be bitten by a shark! Thurston: A shark bite a Howell, ha ha he wouldn't dare. Skipper: Besides we don't have room enough for your luggage. Thurston: Well that's different. If I can't go first class I won't go at all.
Skipper: What are you stopping for? Gilligan: Skipper. Skipper: Never mind, I'll go ahead, Ooop! Gilligan: There's an old rock there. Skipper: Thanks alot Gilligan. Cut that out. Gilligan: aye aye. Skipper: Ooop! Gilligan: Another one.
Ghost: Wait...I hear a feet step... Boss: You hear a FEET STEP?
Gilligan: Hey Skipper, what does this remind you of? Skipper: I don't know must have just crawled in there.
Ginger: Hold me tighter Professor. Professor: I..uh I'm afraid I'll crush your dress. Ginger: Try...
Gilligan: You know what my grandmother always said, 'Never criticize anyone else unless you can do better yourself.' Ginger: That's it! Gilligan, you've done it again! Gilligan: I don't know what it is that I'm doing, but I sure as heck keep doing it!
Professor: It would take a polyester derivative of an organic hydroxide molecule.
Professor: Kissing on the mouth is far from sanitary. It can lead to all sorts of bacterial transfer.
Thurston: This is a very difficult instrument (the Triangle). It's easy to play a wind instrument. Skipper: Yeah, especially for you with all that hot air. Thurston: Heavens to Toscanini! I've been insulted!
Skipper: Gilligan, I can't seem to find a coconut that's big enough for my cap. Gilligan: You should have gone to the other side of the island and got a jumbo-sized one. Skipper: I don't think that's very funny. Gilligan: All I mean is that you're a big guy and got a big head... Skipper: Gilligan? Gilligan: And a big heart. Skipper: Yes....well.....what is it that you're doing? Gilligan: Making you. (Stuffing a life-sized manican of the Skipper) Skipper: That's suppose to be me? Gilligan: Only the bottom half. Skipper: Come on Gilligan, I'm not this big! Gilligan: Well Skipper, you said to make it life-like, remember? Skipper: But I'm not that big Gilligan! Gilligan: Sure you are. Skipper: I am not!!! Gilligan: Sure you are. Skipper: I am not Gilligan!!! Gilligan: Sure you are. Skipper: I am not!!! (WHACK!)