TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Gilligan walks through the jungle, followed by Skipper. Skipper follows Gilligan, peeking through the brush.

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Gilligan enters the hut and closes the door behind him.

SKIPPER (O.C.)

Gilligan? Where are you?

Gilligan walks to a planter, removes a fern, takes something from beneath the pot, and replaces the fern. Gilligan walks over to a cabinet on the opposite wall.

SKIPPER (O.C.) (cont'd)

Gilligan? Gilligan?

Gilligan opens the cabinet door, puts something in it, closed the door, and places a lock on the door. Skipper enters the hut and Gilligan quickly turns around.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, where are you?

Skipper sees Gilligan and walks over to him.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Didn't you hear me call you, little buddy?

GILLIGAN

Uh-huh.

SKIPPER

And what did you lock up in the cabinet?

GILLIGAN

Nothing.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, how can you lock up nothing?

GILLIGAN

It's pretty hard. You have to get a grip on it, get your legs apart and give it a good --

SKIPPER

I see. In other words, you don't want to tell me.

GILLIGAN

Yup.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, I'll tell you something. I'm not interested.

FLIP TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - NIGHT

Gilligan sleeps in his hammock. Skipper sneaks in the hut by opening the door quietly and tip-toeing over to the cabinet. Skipper tries the lock. Gilligan, who wasn't actually sleeping, looks at Skipper from beneath his hat. Gilligan pulls his hat up slightly to reveal his eyes. Gilligan rests his head on his hand.

GILLIGAN

(whispering)

The key's on top of the cupboard.

SKIPPER

(whispering)

Thanks, Gilligan.

Skipper reaches up to the top of the cabinet, takes the key, and opens the lock. Skipper removes the lock, and then realizes Gilligan is awake and sees what he's doing. Skipper turns around and looks at Gilligan.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

That wasn't very funny.

GILLIGAN

I was just trying to be helpful.

Skipper opens the cabinet door and finds nothing inside.

SKIPPER

It's empty.

GILLIGAN

Right.

SKIPPER

Absolutely nothing.

Gilligan grins and nods.

GILLIGAN

But there used to be something.

FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

GILLIGAN

as he walks through the jungle, looking behind to see if he was followed. He walks over to a tree with a hole near the root, kneels down, and reaches in.

SKIPPER (O.S.)

A-ha!

Gilligan looks up and sees the Skipper sitting up in the tree.

GILLIGAN

A-ha?

PAN UP TO SKIPPER

SKIPPER

A-ha.

GILLIGAN

GILLIGAN

Skipper, what are you doing up there?

BACK TO SCENE

SKIPPER

Gilligan, what is more important is what are you doing down there?

GILLIGAN

Skipper, if I were you, I'd get out of that tree.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, I am not moving until I have learned your little secret.

GILLIGAN

It's no secret. See?

Gilligan holds up a small piece of honeycomb.

SKIPPER

And what is that, may I ask?

GILLIGAN

It's honey. I got a sweet tooth and every once in a while I reach in and pull out a piece of honeycomb.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, don't you know better than to stick your hand in a beehive?

GILLIGAN

It's not dangerous. The honey drips through the hole and the bees come in and out by your --

BEEHIVE

Bees buzz around Skipper.

SKIPPER

That is the silliest thing I have ever heard!

Skipper falls from the tree to the ground next to Gilligan. Gilligan rises to his knees and crawls over to Skipper.

GILLIGAN

See? See? I told you so.

Skipper swats at bees.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Ginger sits up from her chaise lounge chair. Mary Ann sits across from her.

GINGER

Could it be a black pearl?

MARY ANN

That's possible. That's very possible.

GINGER

I bet that he's got a whole bagful and he's not sharing them with us.

MARY ANN

Oh, Ginger. Gilligan wouldn't do a thing like that. He's our friend.

GINGER

A girl's best friend is a --

MATCH CUT TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Skipper sits on his hammock. Professor paces the floor.

SKIPPER

Diamond?

PROFESSOR

Geologically impossible.

SKIPPER

A ruby?

PROFESSOR

Southeast Asia.

SKIPPER

An emerald?

PROFESSOR

India and the China coast.

Skipper stands up.

SKIPPER

Professor, what is it that Gilligan has that's fabulously valuable that fits in a space like this?

Skipper places his hands apart, measuring something the size of a breadbox.

MATCH CUT TO:

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Mr. Howell places his hands apart, measuring something the size of a bottle of Scotch. Mrs. Howell files her nails.

MR HOWELL

An eight-year-old bottle of Scotch.

MRS HOWELL

Thurston, we haven't been on this island for eight years.

MR HOWELL

A five-year-old bottle of Scotch?

MRS HOWELL

What makes you think, darling, that he's hiding liquid refreshments?

MR HOWELL

It's the Howell instinct, my dear. You mark my words. Gilligan is fermenting the juice of the grape!

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Gilligan carries a pile of coconuts through the jungle. He trips and spills the coconuts on the ground. He picks them up and reaches to get one that rolled into a bush.

GINGER

Oh!

Gilligan is startled and stands up. Ginger appears out of the bush.

GILLIGAN

Ginger, what are you doing in there?

GINGER

In where?

GILLIGAN

In that bush.

GINGER

In the bush? I -- I -- I was looking for something.

GILLIGAN

A bird?

GINGER

Yeah.

GILLIGAN

Are you a bird-watcher?

GINGER

I was looking for a bird.

GILLIGAN

Me, too. Today I saw a turquoise-browed mott mott and a European poo poo.

GINGER

It must have been fun.

GILLIGAN

What kind are you looking for?

GINGER

Baltimore oriole.

GILLIGAN

That's a baseball player.

GINGER

(sultry)

Yeah.

Ginger turns and walks up the jungle path. Gilligan tries to figure out what she meant. He shakes his head.

FLIP TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Gilligan sweeps the hut. Professor enters.

PROFESSOR

Ah, Gilligan, I've been looking for you.

GILLIGAN

Well, I'm sure not hard to find.

PROFESSOR

What do you mean?

GILLIGAN

Everybody's been finding me. Been up in trees and jumping out of bushes and just peeking all over the place.

Gilligan pulls back the curtain on the closet to reveal Mary Ann standing in it. Gilligan hands her the broom. He closes the curtain.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Thanks, Mary Ann.

(to Professor)

See what I mean?

Gilligan opens the curtain again. Mary Ann emerges from the closet and takes the broom with her.

MARY ANN

I just need the broom for spring house cleaning.

GILLIGAN

What, in November?

Mary Ann exits the hut.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan, it should be obvious. You've hidden something valuable and the other people think you ought to share it with them.

GILLIGAN

What's valuable about a diary?

PROFESSOR

A what?

GILLIGAN

My diary. I write down things about the people and what happens on the island. I call it "Dear Diary."

PROFESSOR

And you've been keeping it hidden?

GILLIGAN

Uh-huh. I hid it real good.

PROFESSOR

Are you sure?

GILLIGAN

I'm positive, because I forgot where I hid it.

PROFESSOR

Wait till I tell the others.

Professor turns and exits the hut. Gilligan turns to pick something up and "Dear Diary" is in his back pocket.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Skipper, Mr. Howell, and Ginger sit at the dining table while Professor stands.

PROFESSOR

And that's the valuable possession that Gilligan's been hiding.

SKIPPER

And here I thought it was something worth a fortune, like a rare jewel or something.

GINGER

I thought it was a bag of black pearls.

MR HOWELL

I knew what he was hiding. You can't fool old Thurston Howell the Third.

SKIPPER

You thought it was a bottle of Scotch.

GINGER

There's a great difference between a bottle of Scotch and a diary.

MR HOWELL

Not to Dean Martin. Fast one.

PROFESSOR

Anyway, the mystery's solved. Gilligan has merely been keeping a diary of our life here on the island.

(pause)

So, now we can all relax.

Professor pats Skipper on the back and exits.

SKIPPER

SKIPPER (V.O.)

Hey, wait a minute. I wonder what Gilligan wrote about me?

GINGER

GINGER (V.O.)

Oh, my gosh. I've got to read what he wrote.

MR. HOWELL

MR HOWELL (V.O.)

Good heavens, will he defame the Howell name?

BACK TO SCENE

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LAGOON - DAY

Gilligan fishes from a large rock by the edge of lagoon. Skipper walks down the hill and walks up to Gilligan.

SKIPPER

Hi, Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

Hi, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Fish biting good?

GILLIGAN

No, not so good.

SKIPPER

You know what I'm gonna do after we get rescued?

GILLIGAN

Uh-uh, what?

SKIPPER

I'm gonna get myself a new ship, and guess who's gonna be my first mate?

GILLIGAN

Skinny Dave Davis?

SKIPPER

Guess again.

GILLIGAN

Fatso Mulligan?

SKIPPER

No, you.

GILLIGAN

Me?

SKIPPER

Of course, if people say bad things about me, well, nobody would give me a ship, would they?

GILLIGAN

Who would say bad things about you?

SKIPPER

Of course if they said I was to blame for the wreck or that I was a bad officer or couldn't handle men, people could say those things.

GILLIGAN

Yeah, I guess they could.

SKIPPER

In that case, could I have just a wee peek? Just a little peek at your diary?

GILLIGAN

No, I couldn't do that.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, not even where I'm mentioned? Gilligan, as your skipper, I demand it.

GILLIGAN

I'm sorry, Skipper, but it's private.

SKIPPER

Hand me that diary, and that's an order!

GILLIGAN

What if I say no?

SKIPPER

I'll have you put in irons.

GILLIGAN

Oh. I thought you were gonna make me walk the plank.

SKIPPER

First you'll walk the plank, then I'll have you keelhauled, then I'll have you drawn and quartered.

GILLIGAN

Skipper?

SKIPPER

What?

GILLIGAN

How do you spell quartered?

SKIPPER

Cue-you-ay-ar-tee-e-ar-e-dee.

(pleasantly)

Good fishing, little buddy.

FLIP TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Ginger approaches Gilligan seductively.

GILLIGAN

I can't.

GINGER

Gilligan, you don't understand.

GILLIGAN

I'd like to show you my diary, but I can't.

GINGER

I thought that you liked me.

GILLIGAN

I do.

GINGER

Well, don't you want me to be the most famous movie star in the whole world?

GILLIGAN

Sure.

GINGER

Then show me your diary, and I'll take it to Hollywood and they'll make a big motion picture about it.

GILLIGAN

They will?

GINGER

Uh-huh. Don't you wanna be my co-star?

GILLIGAN

Me, in the movies?

Ginger inches forward.

GINGER

Sure. We'll have lots of scenes together.

(sultry)

Kissing scenes.

GILLIGAN

(bashfully)

And hugging?

GINGER

(sultry)

Uh-huh. And we'll rehearse over, and over, and over.

Gilligan turns away, hits the side of his head on the pole supporting the hammocks, stuns himself, and slides down to the ground.

FLIP TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Gilligan sits while Mr. Howell stands before him.

MR HOWELL

I, Thurston Howell the Third, creator of careers, builder of men's minds, shaper of their souls, I hereby do take over.

GILLIGAN

Don't think I don't appreciate what you're saying, Mister Howell. It's just that I don't understand it.

MR HOWELL

Leave the thinking to me, see. Hand the diary over to me, my boy, and I'll publish it. I'll make you toast to the literary world, an author

(French)

par excellence.

GILLIGAN

But you'd read it.

MR HOWELL

Well, yes, as publisher, it would be my duty to, of course --

GILLIGAN

I couldn't let you do that.

MR HOWELL

But I'm not just an ordinary man. I'm an outstanding citizen in the community, a man known for his compassion, for his consideration --

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell --

MR HOWELL

(scolding)

Will you be quiet?

(pause)

A man known for his courtesy and thoughtfulness to his fellow man.

GILLIGAN

But Mister Howell --

MR HOWELL

(yells)

Shut up!

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell, I'm sorry, it's private.

MR HOWELL

Fie, knave. Mark my words, you cross swords with Thurston Howell the Third, the king of the beasts.

GILLIGAN

Mister Howell?

MR HOWELL

Yes.

GILLIGAN

How do you spell beasts?

MR HOWELL

Large bee e ay ess tee --

Mr. Howell laughs. Gilligan nods.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LAGOON BEACH - DAY

Gilligan stands at the edge of the water.

GILLIGAN

(to Dear Diary)

Don't expect me to write in you tonight, because you're not gonna be here. You've caused me enough trouble, and you're not gonna cause me anymore.

Gilligan hurls the book toward the lagoon. The other castaways appear from the jungle underbrush.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Hey, Skipper, did you see that? I threw it right in the lagoon. Hey, Ginger, how about that? It was my high, hard, fast one. Pow! I bet it went a mile, huh? Mister Howell, did you -- Professor --

Gilligan frowns.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

EXT. LAGOON BEACH - DAY

Gilligan reclines on the large fallen tree trunk. He plays with the bayonet as Mrs. Howell emerges from the jungle. It appears that he might puncture his belly with it.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, Gilligan, don't do that.

GILLIGAN

Don't do what?

MRS HOWELL

Ooh, commit Larry-Harry or Harry-Larry or whatever they do with those dreadful things.

GILLIGAN

Oh, I wouldn't do a thing like that, Missus Howell. All I was doing was just looking at the bayonet --

(pause)

You're talking to me.

MRS HOWELL

Of course I am. I talk to everybody but I have a feeling sometimes that nobody listens.

GILLIGAN

I wanna talk to them long enough to find out why they're mad at me.

MRS HOWELL

Oh, that. Thurston explained that to me all last night.

GILLIGAN

What'd he say?

MRS HOWELL

Well, it has something to do with your diary. How did he put it?

(pause)

Oh, "that nasty habit you have of always telling the truth."

GILLIGAN

All I did was write down what happened. I didn't make anything up.

MRS HOWELL

Well, that's probably why it's the truth.

GILLIGAN

I bet you wouldn't be mad at me because of my diary. I wrote, "I look on you like a mother."

MRS HOWELL

Ah, Gilligan, that's sweet of you, but I don't think I'll mention it to Thurston.

GILLIGAN

Why not?

MRS HOWELL

Well, I have an idea that he would rather not be considered your father.

Mrs. Howell exits.

GILLIGAN

I wish they'd all write their own diaries and maybe they'd stop being mad at me.

Gilligan leans back and plays with the bayonet.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Gilligan enters the hut. Skipper sits at a table, wielding his pen and writing on one page of a stack of papers. Gilligan leans up against the center pole of the hut and whittles a piece of bamboo with the bayonet.

SKIPPER

What are you doing, Gilligan?

GILLIGAN

Whittling.

SKIPPER

Must you whittle?

GILLIGAN

I won't do it if it bothers you.

SKIPPER

It bothers me.

Gilligan tosses the bamboo aside. Gilligan sits down at the table opposite Skipper. He looks at the bayonet blade momentarily and then tosses it into the ground. Gilligan picks the blade up.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

And now?

GILLIGAN

Mumblety-peg.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, give me that.

Gilligan hands the bayonet to Skipper. Skipper places it down on the table next to him.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Bayonet.

GILLIGAN

It's the bayonet we took off that Japanese sailor, remember? He didn't know the war was over and took them all prisoner.

SKIPPER

Of course I remember.

GILLIGAN

They were all locked up in the compound and I rescued them.

SKIPPER

You rescued them?

GILLIGAN

Sure. Don't you remember? He was up, sleeping on the crotch of that tree, and I crept up and took the key around his neck.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

DREAM SEQUENCE - EXT. JAPANESE SAILOR COMPOUND - DAY

GILLIGAN

Skipper, how're you doing?

Skipper shushes him.

SKIPPER

Don't bother me. I'm doing fine.

PAN ON

Gilligan walks to the women's cell.

GILLIGAN

Hi, girls. Here, hold this, will you?

Gilligan leans the machine gun on the cell near Mary Ann.

Gilligan unlocks the women's cell. The women escape. Mary Ann drags the machine gun.

Gilligan goes to the men's cell and unlocks it. They escape. The castaways gather behind Skipper as he digs. Gilligan hands Skipper the bayonet.

HIGH ANGLE ON SKIPPER

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Here you are, Skipper, use this. It might go a little faster.

SKIPPER

Thanks, Gilligan.

SKIPPER

sees that he's surrounded by feet and that Gilligan has freed the other castaways. Skipper gives an aside glance.

END DREAM SEQUENCE.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Skipper and Gilligan sit across the table from each other.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, I have never heard a more weird fabrication.

GILLIGAN

You like the way I told it?

SKIPPER

Gilligan, I have just written our experience with that Japanese sailor in my diary.

GILLIGAN

Your diary?

SKIPPER

Yes. So that the whole world will know the truth after we're rescued. In these pages, Gilligan, is exactly what happened. Why, if it hadn't been for my heroic feats, you wouldn't even be here.

GILLIGAN

I wouldn't?

SKIPPER

Now hear this.

Skipper reads the pages he's written. Gilligan listens intently.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

"One by one, my fellow castaways disappeared. In spite of my warnings that there was danger afoot, they wandered off, only to be captured by the enemy. I found myself all alone, except for Gilligan."

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

DREAM SEQUENCE - EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

Gilligan stands behind a small tree trunk. He looks fearful. Skipper passes Gilligan on the path and stops.

SKIPPER

What's the matter, boy?

GILLIGAN

Oh, sir, all of our friends are captured.

SKIPPER

I'm aware of that.

GILLIGAN

A Japanese sailor is going to kill them.

SKIPPER

Kill them? Ha! Not while I have the use of these two arms.

GILLIGAN

Sir --

Skipper raises his arms and flexes one bicep and then the other, and finally both at the same time.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

He has guns and things, and all you have is your bare hands.

SKIPPER

Gilligan, I order you to stay here. I shall go forth and free our friends, then turn my mind to the enemy.

GILLIGAN

But what if you are captured?

SKIPPER

You shall never know that, lad, for you will hear nothing but my steady breathing throughout his tortures.

GILLIGAN

Oh, sir.

Patriotic MUSIC plays. Skipper moves Gilligan over a few inches to hide him behind a rather narrow tree trunk. Skipper exits to save the passengers.

EXT. JAPANESE SAILOR COMPOUND - DAY

GINGER

Skipper, we're doomed.

MARY ANN

I'm too young to die.

MRS HOWELL

If I could just see my darling Thurston once more.

SKIPPER

Trust me, madam, to see to it that you and your husband are soon reunited.

Skipper grasps the bamboo bars of the cell. A grenade drops to Skipper's feet.

SKIPPER (cont'd)

Oh. A live hand grenade. Stand back, ladies. Sometimes the shrapnel comes through my fingers when the grenade goes off.

SKIPPERS HANDS

grasp the grenade and it explodes! Dust shoots out between his fingers.

PULL BACK TO SCENE

GINGER

Skipper, what a brave and dangerous thing you've done.

EXT. JAPANESE SAILOR COMPOUND - DAY

Gilligan is stretched out, bound by his limbs to bamboo stakes. Japanese Sailor holds a small cup of water.

JAPANESE SAILOR

Now it's time for famous Japanese water torture.

GILLIGAN

I thought it was a Chinese water torture.

JAPANESE SAILOR

They just copied from Japan! You know, I got a good mind not to torture you, but I got to. I have many questions yet to ask for you to answer. All right, now. Dlop by dlop.

Japanese Sailor pours the entire content of the cup onto Gilligan's face. Gilligan sputters the water out of his mouth.

GILLIGAN

That's a mighty big dlop.

JAPANESE SAILOR

That's only first dlop.

SKIPPER

No, you don't. Not as long as I'm alive you don't even get name or serial number.

Japanese Sailor turns and walks to the tree behind him, where he has a machine gun. He picks up the machine gun and points it at Skipper.

GILLIGAN

Skipper, you have come to save me.

JAPANESE SAILOR

Nothing can save you or him.

Skipper slowly charges Japanese Sailor, as if Skipper were Frankenstein's monster. Skipper takes the machine gun from Japanese Sailor. He grasps the bullet magazine and crushes it with his bare hand and throws it away.

JAPANESE SAILOR (cont'd)

Holy mackerel!

Skipper tears off the gun sight and the gun's barrel and tosses that over his shoulder.

JAPANESE SAILOR (cont'd)

That's not nice. Oh, please don't --

Skipper folds the rest of the machine gun into a lump of twisted metal and tosses that over his shoulder too.

END DREAM SEQUENCE.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BOYS HUT - DAY

Skipper and Gilligan sit across the table from each other. Gilligan leans on his hand, looking bored.

SKIPPER

And that, Gilligan, is actually what happened.

Gilligan perks up.

GILLIGAN

It is?

SKIPPER

Of course I have omitted some of the parts where I acted far and above the call of duty. But then all officers do.

GILLIGAN

Uh-huh, yeah.

SKIPPER

Now, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I have more that I want to write.

GILLIGAN

Okay. Skipper.

Gilligan rises and walks to the door, but is stopped by Skipper.

SKIPPER

Uh, Gilligan? Your bayonet.

Skipper picks up the bayonet, turns it so the handle is toward Gilligan, and hands it to Gilligan. Gilligan takes the bayonet.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Gilligan faces the door, but turns around. Gilligan holds the bayonet. Mr. Howell sits at his desk, pen in hand, with papers he's written sitting in front of him. Mr. Howell writes with a feathered quill. An inkwell sits on the table.

GILLIGAN

I know, Mister Howell, I'm just mixed up.

MR HOWELL

Not an unusual state, I might add.

GILLIGAN

I was telling the Skipper about the time when the Japanese sailor was here on the island, and he remembers everything different.

MR HOWELL

Well, fortunately, we don't have to depend on memory. You see, I jotted it all down in my journal.

GILLIGAN

You did? What happened to me?

MR HOWELL

You were shot!

Gilligan is startled.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Oh, no. That's the wrong page.

Mr. Howell laughs.

MR HOWELL (cont'd)

Now, let's see, "Menace stalked our tiny little island. Despite all my efforts to protect them, the women were captured and I did the only thing I could. I allowed myself to be captured, too."

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

DREAM SEQUENCE - EXT. JAPANESE SAILOR COMPOUND - DAY

Mr. Howell is locked in the men's cell by the Japanese Sailor.

PROFESSOR

Mister Howell, I never thought he could outwit you.

MR HOWELL

A ruse, a clever device on my part, my boy.

PROFESSOR

Getting captured?

MR HOWELL

Very few men would've thought about it.

PROFESSOR

But how do we escape now?

Mr. Howell arrogantly laughs. Mr. Howell removes his shoe.

MR HOWELL

You just leave everything to me, huh?

Mr. Howell pulls at the sole and turns away. He motions that he's pulling something rather large from his shoe. He puts his shoe back on. Then he turns back to reveal a shovel.

PROFESSOR

How did you ever do that?

MR HOWELL

Top secret, my boy, top secret. Keep an eye open. I must rescue everyone.

Mr. Howell digs in the sand with the shovel. Professor keeps watch.

MR. HOWELL

digs in fast motion.

EXT. JAPANESE SAILOR COMPOUND - DAY

Gilligan is backed up against a rock wall with his arms over his head.

JAPANESE SAILOR

It's time for execution.

GILLIGAN

Please, I'm just a young, innocent boy.

JAPANESE SAILOR

Age make no difference. It's time for execution.

GILLIGAN

I'm stalling for time, so I can be rescued by one of my brave friends.

JAPANESE SAILOR

It's one big laugh.

Japanese Sailor laughs.

JAPANESE SAILOR (cont'd)

And a double laugh. Ha ha.

Japanese Sailor moves in front of Gilligan.

JAPANESE SAILOR (cont'd)

All right, now. Don't move!

Japanese Sailor raises his rifle to execute Gilligan firing squad style.

JAPANESE SAILOR (cont'd)

All right!

A whip appears out of nowhere and pulls the gun out of Japanese Sailor's hands. Mr. Howell pulls the rifle to him.

GILLIGAN

I am saved.

Gilligan puts his arms down.

JAPANESE SAILOR

Ah-so. We see who's saved.

MR HOWELL

Never fear, Gilligan. Thurston is here.

Mr. Howell slings the whip at the Japanese Sailor. The whip surrounds Japanese Sailor. Mr. Howell pulls Japanese Sailor over to him. They dance a rumba-like dance to MUSIC. Gilligan watches them dance. Mr. Howell finally flings the whip behind him.

EXT. LAGOON - DAY

The Japanese Sailor flies through the air into the lagoon, making a cannonball-like splash.

EXT. JAPANESE SAILOR COMPOUND - DAY

Mr. Howells runs to Gilligan at the rock wall.

GILLIGAN

Oh, sir, thank you.

Gilligan kisses the shoulders of Mr. Howell in thanks, as he would to greet a European.

MR HOWELL

Come, let us set the others free. No need to worry them, my boy.

Mr. Howell arrogantly laughs.

END DREAM SEQUENCE.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HOWELLS HUT - DAY

Gilligan reads the pages over Mr. Howell's shoulder.

MR HOWELL

I'm sure you remember now, hmmm?

GILLIGAN

You and the Skipper sure don't agree.

Gilligan stands upright.

MR HOWELL

That doesn't matter to me. What is important is I recorded the whole thing for posterity.

GILLIGAN

Thanks for remembering for me.

MR HOWELL

That's all right, Gilligan. Anytime at all, feel free to call on me.

GILLIGAN

Right.

Gilligan turns to exit.

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Gilligan exits the Howells hut and walks to the dining table where Ginger is seated. She has a small notebook in front of her and a pen in her hand.

GILLIGAN

Ginger?

GINGER

Yeah.

GILLIGAN

Can I bother you for a minute?

Gilligan sits down.

GINGER

Of course.

GILLIGAN

Do you remember when the Japanese sailor was here on the island?

GINGER

The Japanese sailor?

GILLIGAN

Yeah.

Ginger thinks for a moment.

GINGER

Oh, that's reel five.

Ginger flips through the pages.

GILLIGAN

You were rescued.

GINGER

No. No, I rescued you.

GILLIGAN

(sarcastically)

Oh, you remember it, too.

Gilligan rests his head on his arm.

GINGER

You see, you were tied to a tree and I came through the jungle.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

DREAM SEQUENCE - EXT. JAPANESE SAILOR COMPOUND - DAY

Gilligan is tied to a tree with many loops of thick rope. The Japanese Sailor points his rifle at Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

You know, Japanese sailor, sir, I'm not the only one here on the island.

JAPANESE SAILOR

Ah, but others are captured, too. So now I shoot you.

GILLIGAN

One will get free and rescue me, because that's the American way.

Ginger appears from behind the tree.

GINGER

I will save you, Gilligan.

JAPANESE SAILOR

It's American movie star. It's come for the rescue, huh? Oh, that's ridiculous.

GINGER

You think I'm just a movie star, don't you?

GILLIGAN

You mean, behind that greasepaint there's something we don't know about?

GINGER

I'm Secret Agent thirty-seven twenty-five thirty-six.

JAPANESE SAILOR

Thirty-seven twenty-five thirty-six? Oh, mama-san, that's no secret.

GINGER

I am a judo expert.

JAPANESE SAILOR

And I'm good-rooking. Ha! You judo expert? All right, rots of ruck.

GINGER

Holder of the black belt.

GILLIGAN

Hurray!

Ginger reaches into the crotch of the tree and removes a judo robe.

JAPANESE SAILOR

What the --

Ginger puts the robe on. Gilligan, though loosely tied to the tree, lends a hand and assists Ginger in putting on the robe.

GINGER

Thank you, Gilligan.

The Japanese Sailor helps Ginger adjust the robe too. The Japanese Sailor hands his rifle to Gilligan.

GINGER (cont'd)

(French)

En garde.

The Japanese Sailor mutters faux Japanese and lunges at Ginger.

SERIES OF SHOTS IN FAST MOTION

Ginger, now barefoot, tosses Japanese Sailor on the ground.

Gilligan winces in sympathetic pain.

The Japanese Sailor kicks at Ginger. She parries and throws him to the ground.

Gilligan winces.

Ginger coifs her hair. Japanese Sailor jumps to his feet and struggles with Ginger.

Ginger tosses him to the ground with a THUD.

Gilligan winces in sympathy.

Japanese Sailor rises to his fit, throws a judo-punch, which Ginger dodges, and she tosses him face-first to the ground.

He rises to his knees and Ginger gives him a karate-chop to his back, laying him out.

BACK TO SCENE

GINGER (cont'd)

So much for him.

GILLIGAN

Ginger, I mean, thirty-seven twenty-five thirty-six, you were great.

Ginger puts her shoes back on.

GINGER

Oh, thanks, Gilligan.

GINGER (cont'd)

I've got to free the others. I shall return.

Ginger disappears behind the tree to which Gilligan is still tied.

END DREAM SEQUENCE.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Still seated at the camp dining table with Ginger, Gilligan listens to Ginger's version of the Japanese Sailor rescue story. He rests is head on both hands, one cheek on each.

GILLIGAN

And after you ran off into the jungle, how did I get out of the tree?

GINGER

I haven't gotten to that part yet, Gilligan. Come back in an hour. I'll have it for you.

GILLIGAN

Okay, Ginger. Thanks a lot, Ginger.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CAMP - DAY

Mary Ann runs from the jungle to the dining table. Professor and Ginger sit at the dining table. Ginger eats a banana. Mr. Howell and Skipper sit at a small table outside the boys hut. Mrs. Howell stands near them.

MARY ANN

Everybody, look. I found it! I found it!

PROFESSOR

What?

MARY ANN

Well, Gilligan's diary.

GINGER

It can't be. I saw him throw it in the lagoon.

MARY ANN

Well, the tide must have washed it back.

Mr. Howell, Mrs. Howell, and Skipper walk over to the dining table.

MR HOWELL

Let's hear what that miserable wretch has to say about this.

SKIPPER

Hear that, too.

MRS HOWELL

I think you'd better read it, dear.

MARY ANN

All right, just listen to this, Mister Howell.

MARY ANN

reads Gilligan's diary.

MARY ANN (cont'd)

"I'm on the island with Mr. Thurston Howell the Third. I don't have to say who he is...

MR. AND MRS. HOWELL

MARY ANN (O.S.)

"... because he's so rich that everybody knows him. Only, money isn't important to him. He treats me like I'm just as good as he is,..."

MARY ANN

MARY ANN

"... which shows what a wonderful person he is."

Mary Ann turns the page.

MARY ANN (cont'd)

"And his wife, Missus Howell,..."

MR. AND MRS. HOWELL

MARY ANN (O.S.)

"... when they made up the word 'lady' that's who they were talking about."

MARY ANN

MARY ANN

"The Skipper, well, he proved what a captain should be."

GINGER AND SKIPPER

MARY ANN (O.S.)

"If it wasn't for him, we all would have drowned. He piloted the ship, and he kept us all safe..."

MARY ANN

MARY ANN

"... and I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for him."

Mary Ann turns the page.

MARY ANN (cont'd)

"And then there's a real live movie star with us. Boy, I'd have been afraid to even ask for her autograph,..."

GINGER AND SKIPPER

MARY ANN (O.S.)

"... let alone talk to her, but she's just like a real person and everybody loves her because she's so good."

MARY ANN

MARY ANN

Well, there is more. You can all read it if you like.

Mary Ann closes the diary and places it on the dining table.

Gilligan emerges from the jungle and walks over to the other castaways.

GILLIGAN

Hi, everybody. Still mad at me?

SKIPPER

Oh, Gilligan, little buddy.

GILLIGAN

Little buddy?

SKIPPER

Whenever has it been anything else?

Skipper puts his arm around Gilligan.

GILLIGAN

A little while ago you told me that --

PROFESSOR

Uh, Skipper, why don't you give Gilligan a chair?

SKIPPER

Of course, Gilligan, sit down.

Gilligan sits down.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan, my boy, I'd like you to accept my humble apologies.

Mr. Howell extends his hand to shake.

GILLIGAN

Oh, you're gonna apologize to me, Mister Howell?

Gilligan shakes his hand.

MR HOWELL

Absolutely.

Ginger hands Gilligan a coconut cup.

GINGER

Would you like some coconut juice, Gilligan?

Gilligan accepts the cup.

GILLIGAN

Thank you.

Gilligan notices his diary sitting on the table.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Oh, my diary. Oh.

He pages through it.

GILLIGAN (cont'd)

Gee, I'd like to write all this down in my diary. But I guess it's just a dream.

Gilligan smiles.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO

TAG

FADE IN:

EXT. CAMP - NIGHT

The Howells emerge from their hut, walk over to the campfire and toss Mr. Howell's pages in to the fire. They turn and leave as quietly as they came. Ginger and Mary Ann appear on the other side of campfire. Ginger tosses her pages into the fire. She watches that they catch fire. The girls leave. Skipper emerges from the boys hut, walks over the campfire and tosses his pages into the fire. He sits down on a chair. Gilligan emerges from the boys hut reading a book. Professor stands in the boys hut door, watching Gilligan approach the campfire. Gilligan begins to toss the book into the fire, but Skipper stops him.

SKIPPER

No, don't!

The other castaways appear out of seemingly nowhere to stop Gilligan from burning that book.

GINGER

Not that one.

MR HOWELL

My boy, that book must be preserved at any cost!

GILLIGAN

I don't understand.

PROFESSOR

What he means, Gilligan, is -- Well, we see ourselves as we are and you see us as we would like to be.

GILLIGAN

You got me more mixed up than I was before.

MARY ANN

Oh, let me try. Gilligan, what he's trying to say is that the book means more to us than it does to you.

GILLIGAN

"A Boy Scouts' Guide Through New Jersey?"

Mary Ann looks puzzled and glances at Skipper.

SKIPPER

We thought it was your diary.

GILLIGAN

No, I hid that.

Mary Ann smiles.

SKIPPER

Good.

GILLIGAN

Someday I'll remember where I hid it.

The castaways exchange glances and disperse. Gilligan turns around to tend the fire. His book, "My Diary," is in his back pocket.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - ESTABLISHING SHOT

FADE OUT.

THE END