GILLIGAN’S ISLAND


			   "Don't Bug the Mosquitoes"

					by

				  Brad Radnitz


							September 29, 1967


				TEASER

FADE IN

EXT - HUT - EARLY MORNING
STOCK SHOT OF HUT WITH CREDIT OVERLAY

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - EARLY MORNING

	Gilligan is seen lying in the top hammock with the 
	radio which is playing loud rock and roll music.  The 
	skipper is in the lower sleeping but is visibly 
	agitated at the noise. Gilligan on the other hand is 
	flailing his arms around to the music.  He stops only 
	when the song he's listening to ends.

				RADIO
			"TODAY CATS AND KITTENS ON THE SAM RIDDLE 
			SHOW, ON BOSS RADIO, WE'RE FEATURING THE 
			MUSIC OF AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE ROCK AND ROLL 
			GROUP, THE MOSQUITOES!"

	The radio begins to play yet another song from the 
	Mosquito's hit list.  Gilligan once again begins his 
	gyrations to the music, the skipper wakes up and 
	hearing the music is getting angry.

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan will you stop that!!

				GILLIGAN
			You’re a grouch.

	Gilligan, realizing he and his music are not wanted, 
	gets out of his hammock and steps on the skipper's hand 
	in the process.

				SKIPPER
			OOWWW! 

			Gilligan you've had it!  Now will you get out 
			of here!!

	Skipper massages his bruised hand as Gilligan takes the 
	radio and leaves the hut still flailing his arms.

CUT TO: INT - HUT - EARLY MORNING

	Mr. and Mrs. Howell are in bed trying to sleep but are 
	obviously awake due to the loud music.

				MRS HOWELL
			Thurston, do you think we're having a 
			nightmare?

				MR HOWELL
			Together with our eyes open?

			Even Sigmond Freud never dreamt of rock and 
			roll!

				MRS HOWELL
			I wonder what it could be?

				MR HOWELL
			Oh some...that fool.  Playing the radio loud!
			EIGHT o'clock in the morning!  AAHH!!

	Mr. Howell gets up in a huff to see if he can stop the 
	early morning noise. 

CUT TO: INT - HUT - EARLY MORNING

	The skipper is still in his hammock hold his hands over 
	his ears and obviously can't sleep due to the music.  
	He finally has had enough and decides to put a stop to 
	it.

				SKIPPER
			First I'll break the radio and then I'll kill 
			Gilligan!

			No! I'll kill Gilligan and THEN I'll break 
			the radio!

	The skipper gets up and leaves the hut.

CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - MORNING

Gilligan is seen lying on a lounge chair listening to 
his music with his arms and legs still flailing in the 
air to the beat of the music.  The skipper and Mr. 
Howell run on camera in a rage.

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan!
				MR HOWELL
			Gilligan!

	There's been no response by Gilligan and the skipper 
	gets right in Gilligan's face and yells...

				SKIPPER
			GILLIGAN!!

				MR HOWELL
			I sorely miss the sweet sounds of 
			civilization...But there's one sound that I 
			don't miss, and that's the Ya Ya Ya of the 
			Mosquitoes.  Now turn off that infernal 
			machine at ONCE!

				GILLIGAN
			It's a matter of taste MR. Howell.

				MR HOWELL
			AAAHHH taste!

				SKIPPER
			Oh it's a matter of taste...If you don't want 
			to taste that radio, turn it OFF Gilligan!!

				GILLIGAN
			There it's off!

	Gilligan turns off the radio, but music can still be 
	heard by everyone.

				SKIPPER
			Well I said turn it OFF!

				GILLIGAN
			It's off it's off!

	The skipper checks the radio and realizes it is off and 
	is confused.

				SKIPPER
			It IS off!

			Where's that music coming from!?

	Mr. Howell listens carefully and realizes it's coming 
	from...

				MR HOWELL
			The lagoon!

				SKIPPER
			The lagoon!

				MR HOWELL
			Lagoon!!

	All three run off camera towards the lagoon.


CUT TO: EXT - LAGOON - HIGH ANGLE - DAY

	The Mosquitoes are playing their music with the sound 
	and shadow of the helicopter's blade washing over them.

INSERT: SHOT OF HELICOPTER AS IT TAKES OFF

CUT TO: EXT - LAGOON - HIGH ANGLE - DAY

	The Mosquitoes are still playing their musical 
	instruments and waving at the helicopter as it departs.  
	The music continues even though the Mosquitoes stop 
	playing and run off as we...

							FADE OUT




				ACT ONE
FADE IN

EXT - LAGOON CLEARING - DAY

	The Mosquitoes are there with there equipment and are 
	playing their music.  They look up and see that 
	Gilligan, the skipper and Mr. Howell have arrived.  Mr. 
	Howell is still in his pajamas and robe.

				BINGO
			Don't look now man but I think we're 
			surrounded by savages.

				BANGO
			Savages? Man the Savages record for Safari 
			Records!

				SKIPPER
			Boy are we glad to see you!

				MR HOWELL
			I can't believe it, we've been rescued!

				GILLIGAN
			I can't believe it either!  It's the 
			Mosquitoes my favorite musical group!

				BONGO
			I thought you said we were going to get away 
			from our fans!

				BANGO
			Yeah you said this island was deserted, and 
			we'd be all alone!

				BINGO
			Now how did I know it was inhabited?

			That helicopter pilot told me this place was 
			out of sight man!

				BANGO
			We MUST be way out!  Get a load of these 
			characters!

				MR HOWELL
			Allow me to introduce myself. I am Thurston 
			Howell the third...millionaire, personal 
			advisor to the Bolshoi Ballet and Lawrence 
			Welk.

			You sir look like Attila the Hun or a Yale 
			man! 

				BINGO
			Allow me to introduce MY group...

				GILLIGAN
			You don't have to do that.  Everyone know the 
			Mosquitoes! That's Bingo, Bango, Bongo and 
			Irving.

				SKIPPER
			Irving?  Oh well...well never mind.

			Look, I'm the skipper of the SS MINNOW and 
			we've been ah…shipwrecked here for a long 
			long time and we've been waiting for somebody 
			like yourselves to come along and rescue us!

				BINGO
			Well I'll tell you what we'll do commodore.  
			If your group will cooperate with the 
			Mosquitoes, we'll get you off the island.

				MR HOWELL
			Good heavens!  If we had to be rescued by 
			musicians, why couldn't it have been the New 
			York Philharmonic!?

			Really your trousers!

CUT TO: EXT - HUT - DAY

	STOCK SHOT OF HUT

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY

	The Mosquitoes are all in the hut along with their 
	instruments.  One is playing the guitar while Bingo is 
	using this drumsticks to tape out a beat on his thigh.  
	The professor looks on with interest as Gilligan is 
	obviously thrilled that the Mosquitoes are on the 
	island.

				PROFESSOR
			So that's what's happened to our civilization 
			since we've been gone.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah they're the Mosquitoes, I've got a 
			collection of all their albums!

				BINGO
			Ah!  Worthwhile hobby nature boy!

				PROFESSOR
			Interesting!  Very very interesting!
			
			Whatever they are?

			See you later Gilligan.

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah professor.

	The professor walks out.   

				MARY ANN
				(O.S.)
			Ginger come on!

	Mary Ann enters the hut in an excited state of mind.

				MARY ANN
			OOHHH the Mosquitoes!!!

				BINGO
			PLEASE! No physical contact!

				MARY ANN
			Oh Ginger!  Hurry up!

				BONGO
			Hey who is this Ginger?  Mrs. Money bags?

				GILLIGAN
			No that's Mrs. Howell.  Ginger is a...well 
			she's kind of like well...she's kind of like a 
			girl you know she's kind of...

	Ginger enters the hut wearing her flowery island girl 
	costume.

				GINGER
			What's going on?

	When Ginger enters, the Mosquitoes realize that Ginger 
	is NOT Mrs. Howell and react as expected.


				BINGO
			Like you said...Ginger's a girl!


				GILLIGAN
			I'll get Mrs. Howell.

	Gilligan exits the hut to get Mrs. Howell.

				MARY ANN
			Oh...welcome to the island!

				GINGER
			They are cute!

			And will you look at that hair!

			How would you like to run your finger's 
			through that!?

					MARY ANN
			Oh fingers!? I could go in up to my elbows!

	Mary Ann and Ginger start to make some moves on the 
	Mosquitoes.  Ginger starts to fell Bongo's hair as he 
	backs away using Bingo as a shield.  

				BONGO
			Please!  Please!

			Bingo!

				BINGO
			Back! Back! Don't handle the merchandise huh!

				MARY ANN
			Ginger ah one of them is tall and one of 
			'em's is short, one of 'em's blond and one of 
			'em's is dark!

				GINGER
			Yeah! A smorgasbord!

				BONGO
			Down girls! Down!

				BINGO
			Peace and quiet!  That's all we want is peace 
			and quiet!  We came here to get away from 
			girls!

CUT TO: EXT - HUT - DAY

	The Mosquitoes are coming out of the hut's doorway as 
	Mrs. Howell is seen walking on camera with a pair of 
	scissors.

				MRS HOWELL
			There you are!  Thurston said you needed 
			haircuts.


				BINGO
			Split man!  It's the Barber of Seville!

	The Mosquitoes panic at the thought of having their 
	hair chopped off by Mrs. Howell and frantically run 
	away with Mrs. Howell hot on their heels.

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY

	The skipper is packing items into his sea chest.  
	Gilligan enters the hut in an excited state.

				GILLIGAN
			Skipper!?  Skipper, have I got some good news 
			for you!

				SKIPPER
			It certainly is a good day for it Gilligan!

				GILLIGAN
			The Mosquitoes are going to give us just what 
			we've been waiting for!

				SKIPPER
			You bet!  A nice trip home!

				GILLIGAN
			No guess again.

				SKIPPER
			Guess again?

				GILLIGAN
			They're gonna give us a concert!

				SKIPPER
			A concert?  Wa...wa...well who wants a concert 
			now?  We want to go home!

				GILLIGAN
			Should I go tell 'em?

				SKIPPER
			No, wait a minute Gillian. Maybe you better 
			not tell 'em, we don't want to get 'em upset.  
			We'll listen to their concert and THEN we'll 
			go home!

				GILLIGAN
			I'll bet we're the luckiest people alive!

				SKIPPER
			We certainly are! We're finally being 
			rescued!

				GILLIGAN
			No!  I mean about the Mosquitoes giving us a 
			concert!

				SKIPPER
			Oh well certainly yes.

				GILLIGAN
			Here let me help you.

	Gilligan closes the sea chest on the skipper's hand who 
	yells out in pain.

FLIP TO: INT - HUT - NIGHT

	Mr. and Mrs. Howell are getting ready to go to the 
	concert.  Mr. Howell does not appear overly 
	enthusiastic.  Mrs. Howell seems to enjoy the though of 
	going out.  The Mosquitoes can be heard playing rock 
	and roll music in the background.

				MRS HOWELL
			Oh I just adore concerts!

			I do wish the Mosquitoes would stop tuning up 
			and start the music.

				MR HOWELL
			They have stopped tuning up.  That IS the 
			music!

				MRS HOWELL
			Oh dear...OH DEAR Thurston, then we'd better 
			hurry!  They probably won't seat us in the 
			middle of the first act!  Come on darling!

				MR HOWELL
			I wish we could be that LUCKY that we 
			wouldn't be seated at ALL!

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - STAGE - NIGHT

	The Mosquitoes have been singing one of their hit songs 
	and we come in just at the end of the song.

				MOSQUITOES
			Don't bug me, please just let me be...girl
			
			Don’t bug me, let my heart be free
			Go on now
			Don't bug me, please just let me be...girl
			

	The Mosquitoes end their first number and Mary Ann and 
	Gilligan start screaming with delight.  The Mosquitoes 
	immediately begin their second number.

				MOSQUITOES
			One...two...three...
			He's a looser
			Pay no mind to what he says
			He's a looser
			He's got rocks in both his hands
			He's a looser
			He can't win can't place or show
			He's a looser
			And you know how much I hate to say...
			I told you so
			I told you so
			I told you so

			Trouble follows in his path
			The path that he's bad news
			Let him go don't call him back
			He's likely gonna loose
			He's a looser
			Call him anything you choose
			He's a looser
			If raced himself he'd loose
			He's a looser
			Always stops when he says go
			He's a looser
			And you know how much I hate to say...
			I told you so
			I told you so
			I told you so
			I told you so

	The Mosquitoes, ending their show take a bow.

				BINGO
			Well that's it for tonight!  I wanna tell ya, 
			ya been a good group.  And that a...we're sure 
			our next month here on the island is gonna be 
			just too much.  Thanks, good night.

	The Mosquitoes leave the stage as the castaways can be 
	seen reacting to the news.

				SKIPPER
			Did he say another month!?

				MRS HOWELL
			Well don't they realize we'll miss the opera 
			season!?

				MARY ANN
			Well I'm all packed!

				GINGER
			Well what are you smiling at Mr. Howell?

				MRS HOWELL
			What's wrong Thurston darling?

				GINGER
			He's been looking that way throughout the 
			concert Mrs. Howell.

				PROFESSOR
			Maybe there's more to this tuneless discord 
			than I can comprehend?

				GILLIGAN
			Maybe he developed an ear for rock and roll?

				MRS HOWELL
			Oh he's got his earplugs in.

			Thurston take them out.
			
	Mr. Howell doesn't respond.

				MRS HOWELL
			TAKE THEM OUT!

	He still does not respond.  Mrs. Howell taps Mr. Howell 
	on the shoulder to get his attention.  Mr. Howell 
	removes the earplugs.

				MRS HOWELL
			The concert's over dear.

				MR HOWELL
			Oh...oh oh the concerts...wonderful marvelous 
			just just absolutely thrilling thrilling 
			encore!

				SKIPPER
			Well here's something you'll get a thrill out 
			of Mr. Howell.  We're going to be here for 
			another month!

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah, and they'll probably give concert after 
			concert after concert!

				MR HOWELL
			Oh good heavens! My ear plugs!

	Mr. Howell quickly puts his ear plugs back in and looks 
	as he did before during the concert.

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - NIGHT

	Gilligan and the skipper are in their hammocks.  
	Gilligan is happily listening to the Mosquitoes music 
	while the skipper is in absolute agony.

				GILLIGAN
			Skipper? Are you sleeping?

				SKIPPER
			No Gilligan I'm still listening to the music!

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah so am I!  Isn't it wild?

				SKIPPER
			Wild?

				GILLIGAN
	I think it's really great that they're gonna 
	to be here a whole month.  Do you realize how 
	much that'd cost to see them that often?

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan I hope I NEVER get that rich.

				GILLIGAN
			We'll have to be very very quiet if we want 
			'em to stay here on the island.

				SKIPPER
			Certainly little buddy, I'll walk around on 
			tippy toes!

				GILLIGAN
			That's why they came to the island.  To find 
			peace and quiet, and if they don't get it, 
			they might as well go back to the states.

					SKIPPER
			Never mind Gilligan.

	Suddenly the skipper realizes that in order to get the 
	Mosquitoes to leave, they have to disrupt their peace 
	and quiet.

				SKIPPER
			That's it! THAT’S IT!

			Gilligan!  You've done it again little buddy!

	The skipper gets up and runs out the hut door 
	excitedly.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh that's great!  I did it again!

			What did I do?

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - NIGHT

	The Mosquitoes are all asleep in the sleeping bags when 
	Mary Ann and Ginger pop up outside the hut's window.

				GINGER
			The Mosquitoes!

				MARY ANN
			The Mosquitoes??!!

				MARY ANN and GINGER
			AAAHHHHH!!!

	Both Mary Ann and Ginger start to enter the hut.  Mary 
	Ann and Ginger scream wildly like crazed fans. The 
	Mosquitoes are awakened by the screams and are totally 
	taken by surprise.  Bingo jumps up to see what's going 
	on.

				BINGO
			What was that!

				BANGO
			I don't know. What's happening!?

				BONGO
			I don't know!

	Mary Ann and Ginger, now in the hut, are still 
	screaming and acting like crazed fans.

(Transcribers note: The frenzy that follows is almost 
impossible to decipher.  Bits and pieces of dialog can 
be heard, but it sounds more like adlibbing)

				MARY ANN
			I just love 'em!!

				GINGER
			It's so groovy!!

			MARY ANN
			I have to have a souvenir!!

	Mary Ann and Ginger grab a guitar and fight over it.

				GINGER
			I want it!!

	The guitar's neck breaks off.

				BONGO
			Hey my guitar!

			Look what you've done to my guitar!

				MARY ANN
			I want his pajamas!!

				GINGER
			I want one too!

	Mary Ann starts to grab Bongo's pajama top while he' 
	standing in his sleeping bag helpless.

				BONGO
			Bingo Help!!

	Mary Ann succeeds in ripping his pajama top from him 
	and is obviously thrilled.  The professor can be seen 
	entering the hut.

				BINGO
			That's enough! Enough girls!  You girls have 
			had your fun now...DOC give us a hand will ya!?

				PROFESSOR
			Ah later!

			Ah Mr. Bongo I should like to conduct an 
			experiment.  Now these electrodes will test 
			your brain waves when you play.

	The professor attempts to put a crudely made pair of 
	headsets on Bongo who reacts with horror.

				BONGO
			Ah! DOC no! Your not gonna make any 
			Frankenstein out of me!

				PROFESSOR
			It won't hurt.  It will just take a moment.

				GINGER
			Here's the one I like!  The strong silent 
			type!

				IRVING
			Yike!!

				GINGER
			Oh come on Irving!

	Gilligan reenters the hut carrying coconuts.  Irving is 
	seen leaping out the hut's window headfirst.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh boy a party!

	Gilligan walks over to a couple of the Mosquitoes with 
	the coconuts.

				GILLIGAN
			Could you autograph these coconuts for me 
			please?

				BANGO
			Do WHAT?!

	Mrs. Howell next enters the hut with a pair of scissors and 
	starts making advances towards Bingo.

				BINGO
			This is ridiculous!
			This is ridiculous!
			Call off Mrs. money bags!

	The skipper enters the hut and begins his banter.

				SKIPPER
			All right it's time for your exercises!
			Deep knee bends!
			
	The skipper takes Bongo by the shoulders, still in his 
	sleeping bag and forces him up and down.

				SKIPPER
			That's the thing, deep knee bends!

	Mr. Howell is the next and last to enter the hut.  Now 
	all seven castaways and the four Mosquitoes are 
	together in what can only be called total chaos! 
 
				MR HOWELL
			Gather around, gather around!

			Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
			As your new manager I have something to say.

				BINGO
			Oh no not you too!

				MR HOWELL
		I have plans that are really really really 
			really big!  Concerts, one night stands, 
			movies, television...

				BINGO
			THAT DOES IT!!  I mean it!  That really does 
			it!  We're leaving tomorrow!  Come on fellas 
			lets get out of here.

	The Mosquitoes leave the hut leaving the castaways 
	behind.

				SKIPPER
			Did you here what they said!

			We're leaving tomorrow!!

	The castaways are extremely happy and form a conga line 
	and start chanting as they head out the door and into 
	the clearing. 

				ALL
			We're leaving tomorrow!
			We're leaving tomorrow!
			We're leaving tomorrow!

CUT TO: EXT - HUT - NIGHT

	The castaways are all still in Conga line formation as 
	they continue their chanting...

				ALL
			We're leaving tomorrow!
			We're leaving tomorrow!
			We're leaving tomorrow!
			We're leaving tomorrow...

	As the castaways conga off screen we...

							FADE OUT



				ACT TWO
FADE IN: 

ESABLISHING SHOT -	STOCK SHOT OF HUT EXTERIOR

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

	The skipper and Gilligan are walking along a path 
	leading to the hut where the Mosquitoes are staying.  
	The skipper is carrying his sea chest on his shoulder 
	while Gilligan is carrying his duffel bag over his.

				SKIPPER
			Hurry up Gilligan!

				GILLIGAN
			Ok.
			Bingo and Bango! We're ready to leave!

				SKIPPER
			Bongo?

				GILLIGAN
			Irving?

				SKIPPER
			Irving...

				GILLIGAN
			Well at least he could pluck.

				SKIPPER
			Is anybody home?!

	Gilligan opens the door and both look inside.  They 
	have a shocked look on their faces.

				SKIPPER
			Oh no! Gilligan they've...they've gone! They've 
			gone without us!

FLIP TO: EXT - HUT - DAY

				MR HOWELL
			But they couldn't they just couldn't!

				SKIPPER
			Mr. Howell they have!

				MRS HOWELL
			Couldn't what darling?

				MR HOWELL
			The Mosquitoes couldn't leave the island 
			without us.

				MRS HOWELL
			Well of course they couldn't!

				GILLIGAN
			They already have!

				MRS HOWELL
			They did?!

			HHAAAAA

			Well in that case there's only one thing left 
			to do.  Get ready Thurston.

				MR HOWELL
			Yes dear.

	Mr. Howell catches Mrs. Howell as she faints into his 
	arms.

FLIP TO: EXT - HUT - DAY

	The skipper and professor are seated at a table 
	concerned over their problem when Gilligan runs on 
	camera with a coconut marked with an X.

				GILLIGAN
			Hey...Hey have you seen the autograph that 
			Bango gave me!?  See the X see!

				SKIPPER
			Yes we've seen it Gilligan!

				PROFESSOR
			I must admit that I underestimated the 
			reaction that would set in.

				SKIPPER
			Oh professor we should've kept an eye on 'em!

				GILLIGAN
			You just don't understand 'em skipper.  
			They're a high strung nervous type.  I mean 
			being sensitive musicians...

				SKIPPER
			Never mind that Gilligan.

	We start to hear music playing in the background.

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan will you turn that radio off!

				GILLIGAN
			What radio?

				PROFESSOR
			It's not around here skipper.

				SKIPPER
			Well how come I hear music?

				GILLIGAN
			They didn't go!

				SKIPPER
			We...we still got a chance of being rescued!

				GILLIGAN
			I'll go tell the others!

				SKIPPER
			Let's go Gilligan!!

	They all start to run towards the music.  The professor
	gets away cleanly while Gilligan and the skipper end up 
	repeatedly running into each other.  They finally get 
	it sorted out and run off camera.

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY

	The Mosquitoes are playing an instrumental as the 
	skipper, Gilligan and the professor run into the 
	clearing.

				SKIPPER
			Boy are we glad to see you fellas!

				GILLIGAN
			We thought you left the island without us!

				BANGO
			The word Bingo the word!

				BONGO
			Yah!

				BINGO
			Now look fellas...we're the friendly type you 
			know...and we'd like to remain the friendly 
			type.  But we need rest! 

				GILLIGAN
			But we can't help it if we're your fans!

				BANGO
			FANS!!

			The word Bingo the word!


				BINGO
			All right men now hear this...we're not 
			splitting from this island for two months!

				SKIPPER
			Two Months!!

				BONGO
			Maybe longer!

			That crazy scene last night wound us up 
			tighter than Presley's pants!

				SKIPPER
			Bu...but...but fellas you are going to take us 
			with you aren’t you?

				BINGO
			Yeah when we give the word then we'll all 
			move out!

				GILLIGAN
			That sounds fair.

	Mrs. Howell is seen running out of the jungle after 
	Irving. She is trying to cut one Irving's hair with a 
	pair of scissors.

				IRVING
			AAAHHHHH!!

	Irving runs away from Mrs. Howell.

				MRS HOWELL
			Don't go away!
			Don't go away from me!

				IRVING
			AAAHHHHH!!

				MRS HOWELL
			Don't go away, I just want to cut your hair 
			with these nail scissors!
				BINGO
			And please take Delilah with you!

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY

	Gilligan and the skipper are seated at a table playing 
	cards.

				GILLIGAN
			Got any queens?

	The skipper is searching his hand for a queen.  He is 
	visibly upset, not just at the card game but at the 
	music playing. 

				SKIPPER
			Fish!

			I can't stand it any longer Gilligan that 
			music is driving me crazy!

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah it's too much isn't it?  It's called "I 
			want to go back to Pago Pago Pago Ya Ya Ya 
			with you".

				SKIPPER
			Two months! In two months Gilligan I'm going 
			from a deserted island to an isolation ward!  
			A padded cell...

	Mr. Howell walks into the hut looking tired.

				GILLIGAN
			Did we wake you up Mr. Howell?

				MR HOWELL
			No I was only half asleep I lost one of my 
			earplugs. Any of you happen to find it?

				SKIPPER
			No we haven't seen it Mr. Howell!!

				GILLIGAN
			Maybe one of the Mosquitoes found it.

				MR HOWELL
			Well I'm afraid to ask them they're so 
			touchy!

	Skipper gets up in a huff.

				GILLIGAN
			What's the matter skipper?

				SKIPPER
			Oh Gilligan supposing we do stay on our side 
			on the island...mind our own business for two 
			months.  I mean how do we know they're not 
			going to change their minds.  They 
			disappeared once before they...they'd probably 
			go off without us again!

				MR HOWELL
			Good grief you're right, the Mosquitoes might 
			buzz off without us!

				GILLIGAN
			Oh they wouldn't do that.

				SKIPPER
			Oh Gilligan for goodness sakes...we're not 
			dealing with regular people, we're dealing 
			with musicians!  They're in a world of their 
			own!

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah I guess you're right.  Show people just 
			like show people.

				MR HOWELL
			By George Gilligan...you have done it again!
			Amazing!

	Mr. Howell gets up and leaves the hut.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh boy I did it again!  I sure wish I knew 
			what I keep doing.

DISSOLVE TO: STOCK SHOT OF PALM TREE AGAINST A BLUE SKY.

CUT TO: INT - HUT - DAY

	Ginger, Gilligan, the skipper and Mr. Howell are 
	discussing the plan.

				MR HOWELL
			Do you think it'll work?

				GINGER
			Oh I'm sure it will.  All headliners want an 
			opening act that'll make them look good!


				SKIPPER
			That's right Ginger!  I mean we'll get up an 
			act...We'll rehearse with them and 
			everything...and we'll make them...look so good 
			that they're bound to take us with 'em!

				GILLIGAN
			What act? Who...how?

				GINGER
			Well you three! You're going to sing 
			together!

				SKIPPER
			Wa...well what about the professor?

				GINGER
			Wa...well him too!

				GILLIGAN
			You mean we're going to have our own singing 
			group?

				GINGER
			Uh-huh!

				MR HOWELL
			Well this is almost too much!  I'm in 
			showbiz!

			I'll be forever excluded from the Harvard 
			club!

FLIP TO: INT - HUT - DAY

	Gilligan is wearing strange looking clothing and Ginger 
	is dancing the Watusi. 

				GINGER
			Oh your pants look great Gilligan how do they 
			feel?

				GILLIGAN
			Like Alligator skin...on an Alligator!

				GINGER
			Oh well they have to be tight all the 
			musicians wear them like that.  So they can 
			do the Watusi while they're playing.

				GILLIGAN
			The Watusi!  I can hardly walk around in 'em!

				GINGER
			Oh great...come on!  It's really great come on!

				GILLIGAN
			All right I'll try it. No I'd better not.

	As Gilligan attempts the Watusi, Mrs. Howell enters the 
	hut with a wig.

				MRS HOWELL	
			Gilligan! Oh Gilligan I've got your wig all 
			ready!

				GILLIGAN
			What do you know...instant hair!

				MRS HOWELL
			Put it on darling.

	Gilligan tries on the wig.

				GILLIGAN
			How do I look?

				MRS HOWELL
			Oh it looks just perfect! Except for one 
			thing. You need a haircut!

				GINGER
			Oh no Mrs. Howell! No! No!

				MRS HOWELL
			But he does need a haircut!  His bangs are 
			too long!  His bangs are way too long.

	The professor enters the hut carrying a set of drums 
	fashioned from bamboo and vines.

				PROFESSOR
			Excuse me Mrs. Howell. Here are the drums.  
			Now I have to work on the guitars.  Here are 
			the sticks.

	The professor hands Gillian the drum sticks.

				GILLIGAN
			OOOOO!

				GINGER
			Oh boy, now Gilligan see if you can play and 
			Watusi at the same time.

				GILLIGAN
			Ok.

	Gilligan starts to beat on the drums using the sticks.

				GINGER
			Great!

	Gilligan tries to flip the sticks and looses one.  He 
	bends over to pick it ups when his pants rip.

				GINGER
			Whoops!  OOHHH!

	Gilligan hearing the tearing sound knows what happened 
	and being embarrassed, walks backwards out the hut's 
	door.

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - STAGE - DAY

	The four men are dressed in strange clothing and each 
	one has an instrument.  Gilligan is on the drums, while 
	the other three have crudely built guitars.  They start 
	to play a very course song, which resembles one of the 
	ones the Mosquitoes played earlier. On the drums 
	Gilligan is playing is a drawing of a Gnat.

(Transcribers note: With the exception of a few words, the 
"noise" the GNATs make is pure Gibberish)

				GILLIGAN
			One...two...two...three...four...five

	They play wildly on stage as Mary Ann, Ginger and Mrs. 
	Howell look on from benches in front of the stage.

	The Mosquitoes, hearing the "music" and come watch.  
	They actually watch in horror as the "Gnats" play one 
	of their own songs.

	After the number is concluded, the Mosquitoes run off 
	into the jungle.

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY

	The skipper is seated at a table looking depressed as 
	Gilligan plays on the drums.

				GILLIGAN
			Skipper, all we need is a little more 
			practice.


				SKIPPER
			Oh Gilligan, the Mosquitoes thought we were 
			awful.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh boy, a little bit of criticism and you 
			fall apart.  You can't start from the top you 
			know!

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan, I'll start from the top of your 
			head and put you in the ground like a 
			thumbtack!

				GILLIGAN
			Remember the show must go on!

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan will you please be quiet.  I'm 
			trying to think of another plan.

				GILLIGAN
			Won't you try it just once more?

				SKIPPER
			You just don't seem to understand do ya! No! 
			No! No!

				GILLIGAN
			You got it skipper but it goes Ya, Ya, Ya, 
			Ya...

	Gilligan walks out of the hut.

CUT TO: EXT - HUT - DAY

	Gilligan is seen walking past a hut and comes acrossed 
	Ginger seated at a table. Gilligan is still saying...

				GILLIGAN
			Ya, Ya, ya...Hey Ginger?

				GINGER
			Huh?

				GILLIGAN
			Your in showbiz, tell me honestly...how were 
			we?

				GINGER
			Gilligan that act couldn't get booked on 
			Devil's Island.

				GILLIGAN
			Oh maybe if we picked a new song.

				GINGER
			I don't know how to put this Gilligan but 
			a...you were terrible.

				GILLIGAN
			Boy for somebody who doesn't know how to put 
			it!

				GINGER
			I'm sorry, I mean...

				GILLIGAN
			My grandmother always use to say...Never 
			criticize anybody else unless you could do 
			better yourself!

				GINGER
			That's it!  That's it...you've done it again!

	Ginger gives Gilligan a big hug.

				GILLIGAN
			I don't know what I'm doing, but I sure as 
			heck keep doing it!

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - STAGE - DAY

	Mr. Howell is standing at the front of the stage 
	getting ready to introduce the next act.  Gilligan, the 
	skipper and the professor are seated on the benches.

				MR HOWELL
			Now a trio with a really really big future.  
			The girls with a...with a new sound, and here 
			they are the Honeybees.

	The curtain opens revealing Mary Ann, Ginger and Mrs. 
	Howell all wearing the same costume. On each of their 
	chests is a large Bee.  Mrs. Howell has a Beetles style 
	wig on making here appear much younger.  At the 
	introduction, the men all begin to clap and cheer.

INSERT: RECORD PLAYER BEING TURNED ON, AND THE NEEDLE ARM 
BEING PLACED ON THE RECORD.

	The music begins...

				ALL
			You need us
			You need us
			Like a clam needs a shell
			Like a prisoner needs a cell
			Like a ding-dong...Needs a bell
			You need us.

				GINGER
			You need me
			You need me
			Like a picture needs a star
			Like a golfer needs a par
			Like teenagers...mm mm...Need a car
			You need me

				MARY ANN
			You need me
			You need me
			Like a baby needs a toy
			Like Hawaiians need their poi
			Like a girly...Needs a boy
			You need me

				MRS HOWELL
			You need a me
			You need me
			Like a diamond needs a ring
			Like a harp needs a string
			Like a Queen...Needs a King
			You need me

				ALL
			You need us
			You need us
			Like a Bee needs it's Buzz
			Like a Peach needs it's fuzz
			So that's why
			You need
			You need us
			Bzzzzzzzzzzz

	The Mosquitoes having heard the music come and watch.  
	After the number is over, they and the other castaways 
	all clap and cheer wildly.

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY

	The skipper is packing his sea chest and humming 
	happily to himself. Gilligan is getting Mary and Ginger 
	to autograph some coconuts for him.

				GILLIGAN
			Thanks for the autograph's girls.  I tried to 
			get Mrs. Howell's, but Mr. Howell was 
			charging a dollar a piece for 'em.

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan will you finish packing!

	We see Mr. and Mrs. Howell entering the hut.

				MR HOWELL
				(To Mrs. Howell)
			I can hardly wait to get back to our car.  
			We're double parked you know!

				MRS HOWELL
			Oh yes and we left the engine running.

				GINGER
			Come on let's go down to the beach.

				MARY ANN
			Ok.

	The professor enters the hut before Ginger and Mary Ann 
	and leave and looks disappointed.  He is carrying a 
	square flat package.

				PROFESSOR
			Hold it hold it you can all just start to 
			unpack!

				SKIPPER
			UNPACK!!  What do you mean unpack!?

				PROFESSOR
			The Mosquitoes left us a message.

				GILLIGAN
			A message?

				MR HOWELL
			They can write?

				PROFESSOR
			Apparently.

	Professor begins reading the letter out loud.

				PROFESSOR
			Hi gang.  Me and the boys...

	Professor is obviously distressed at the poor grammar.

				PROFESSOR
			Me and the boys decided to take off this 
			morning when the helicopter came by with 
			provisions.  As for the Honey Bees...

				MARY ANN
			As for the Honeybees!?

	Mary Ann reacts immediately.  She grabs the letter and 
	continues.

				MARY ANN
			As for the Honeybees your good gals...just a 
			little too good and we've got enough 
			competition.  But so there wouldn't be any 
			hard feelings we left a gift for you.

				GILLIGAN
			A gift!? Oh I love presents!

				SKIPPER
			Oh never mind that Gilligan.  Well what is 
			it?  Open it up!

				GILLIGAN
			I'm trying to skipper!

	Gilligan rips off the wrapping and discovers it's a...

				SKIPPER
			An album?!

				GILLIGAN
			Yeah the Mosquitoes at Carnegie Hall.  Is 
			that all?

				SKIPPER
			Well NOW what do think of your Mosquitoes?!

				GILLIGAN
			You're absolutely right!  It was a terrible 
			thing to do.  Leaving us with an album…and 
			they didn't even autograph it!

				SKIPPER
			Gilligan!

	The skipper takes off his hat to hit Gilligan with it 
	but as Gilligan winces away from the skipper, the 
	skipper steps on his foot instead.
							FADE OUT:


				EPILOG
FADE IN:

EXT - STAGE - DAY

	Mary Ann, Mrs. Howell and Ginger are seated on the 
	benches as the three Gnats are playing the song they 
	played before.  It's still just as awful.

				GINGER
			If the world is lucky we'll NEVER get 
			rescued!

	All three put earplugs in as we...

							FADE OUT:

				END CREDITS