Gilligan's Island Script
Episode #48, "Don't Bug The Mosquitoes"
(An American singing group, the Mosquitoes, lands on the island)

GILLIGAN’S ISLAND "Don't Bug the Mosquitoes" by Brad Radnitz September 29, 1967 TEASER FADE IN EXT - HUT - EARLY MORNING STOCK SHOT OF HUT WITH CREDIT OVERLAY DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - EARLY MORNING Gilligan is seen lying in the top hammock with the radio which is playing loud rock and roll music. The skipper is in the lower sleeping but is visibly agitated at the noise. Gilligan on the other hand is flailing his arms around to the music. He stops only when the song he's listening to ends. RADIO "TODAY CATS AND KITTENS ON THE SAM RIDDLE SHOW, ON BOSS RADIO, WE'RE FEATURING THE MUSIC OF AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE ROCK AND ROLL GROUP, THE MOSQUITOES!" The radio begins to play yet another song from the Mosquito's hit list. Gilligan once again begins his gyrations to the music, the skipper wakes up and hearing the music is getting angry. SKIPPER Gilligan will you stop that!! GILLIGAN You’re a grouch. Gilligan, realizing he and his music are not wanted, gets out of his hammock and steps on the skipper's hand in the process. SKIPPER OOWWW! Gilligan you've had it! Now will you get out of here!! Skipper massages his bruised hand as Gilligan takes the radio and leaves the hut still flailing his arms. CUT TO: INT - HUT - EARLY MORNING Mr. and Mrs. Howell are in bed trying to sleep but are obviously awake due to the loud music. MRS HOWELL Thurston, do you think we're having a nightmare? MR HOWELL Together with our eyes open? Even Sigmond Freud never dreamt of rock and roll! MRS HOWELL I wonder what it could be? MR HOWELL Oh some...that fool. Playing the radio loud! EIGHT o'clock in the morning! AAHH!! Mr. Howell gets up in a huff to see if he can stop the early morning noise. CUT TO: INT - HUT - EARLY MORNING The skipper is still in his hammock hold his hands over his ears and obviously can't sleep due to the music. He finally has had enough and decides to put a stop to it. SKIPPER First I'll break the radio and then I'll kill Gilligan! No! I'll kill Gilligan and THEN I'll break the radio! The skipper gets up and leaves the hut. CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - MORNING Gilligan is seen lying on a lounge chair listening to his music with his arms and legs still flailing in the air to the beat of the music. The skipper and Mr. Howell run on camera in a rage. SKIPPER Gilligan! MR HOWELL Gilligan! There's been no response by Gilligan and the skipper gets right in Gilligan's face and yells... SKIPPER GILLIGAN!! MR HOWELL I sorely miss the sweet sounds of civilization...But there's one sound that I don't miss, and that's the Ya Ya Ya of the Mosquitoes. Now turn off that infernal machine at ONCE! GILLIGAN It's a matter of taste MR. Howell. MR HOWELL AAAHHH taste! SKIPPER Oh it's a matter of taste...If you don't want to taste that radio, turn it OFF Gilligan!! GILLIGAN There it's off! Gilligan turns off the radio, but music can still be heard by everyone. SKIPPER Well I said turn it OFF! GILLIGAN It's off it's off! The skipper checks the radio and realizes it is off and is confused. SKIPPER It IS off! Where's that music coming from!? Mr. Howell listens carefully and realizes it's coming from... MR HOWELL The lagoon! SKIPPER The lagoon! MR HOWELL Lagoon!! All three run off camera towards the lagoon. CUT TO: EXT - LAGOON - HIGH ANGLE - DAY The Mosquitoes are playing their music with the sound and shadow of the helicopter's blade washing over them. INSERT: SHOT OF HELICOPTER AS IT TAKES OFF CUT TO: EXT - LAGOON - HIGH ANGLE - DAY The Mosquitoes are still playing their musical instruments and waving at the helicopter as it departs. The music continues even though the Mosquitoes stop playing and run off as we... FADE OUT ACT ONE FADE IN EXT - LAGOON CLEARING - DAY The Mosquitoes are there with there equipment and are playing their music. They look up and see that Gilligan, the skipper and Mr. Howell have arrived. Mr. Howell is still in his pajamas and robe. BINGO Don't look now man but I think we're surrounded by savages. BANGO Savages? Man the Savages record for Safari Records! SKIPPER Boy are we glad to see you! MR HOWELL I can't believe it, we've been rescued! GILLIGAN I can't believe it either! It's the Mosquitoes my favorite musical group! BONGO I thought you said we were going to get away from our fans! BANGO Yeah you said this island was deserted, and we'd be all alone! BINGO Now how did I know it was inhabited? That helicopter pilot told me this place was out of sight man! BANGO We MUST be way out! Get a load of these characters! MR HOWELL Allow me to introduce myself. I am Thurston Howell the third...millionaire, personal advisor to the Bolshoi Ballet and Lawrence Welk. You sir look like Attila the Hun or a Yale man! BINGO Allow me to introduce MY group... GILLIGAN You don't have to do that. Everyone know the Mosquitoes! That's Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Irving. SKIPPER Irving? Oh well...well never mind. Look, I'm the skipper of the SS MINNOW and we've been ah…shipwrecked here for a long long time and we've been waiting for somebody like yourselves to come along and rescue us! BINGO Well I'll tell you what we'll do commodore. If your group will cooperate with the Mosquitoes, we'll get you off the island. MR HOWELL Good heavens! If we had to be rescued by musicians, why couldn't it have been the New York Philharmonic!? Really your trousers! CUT TO: EXT - HUT - DAY STOCK SHOT OF HUT DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY The Mosquitoes are all in the hut along with their instruments. One is playing the guitar while Bingo is using this drumsticks to tape out a beat on his thigh. The professor looks on with interest as Gilligan is obviously thrilled that the Mosquitoes are on the island. PROFESSOR So that's what's happened to our civilization since we've been gone. GILLIGAN Yeah they're the Mosquitoes, I've got a collection of all their albums! BINGO Ah! Worthwhile hobby nature boy! PROFESSOR Interesting! Very very interesting! Whatever they are? See you later Gilligan. GILLIGAN Yeah professor. The professor walks out. MARY ANN (O.S.) Ginger come on! Mary Ann enters the hut in an excited state of mind. MARY ANN OOHHH the Mosquitoes!!! BINGO PLEASE! No physical contact! MARY ANN Oh Ginger! Hurry up! BONGO Hey who is this Ginger? Mrs. Money bags? GILLIGAN No that's Mrs. Howell. Ginger is a...well she's kind of like well...she's kind of like a girl you know she's kind of... Ginger enters the hut wearing her flowery island girl costume. GINGER What's going on? When Ginger enters, the Mosquitoes realize that Ginger is NOT Mrs. Howell and react as expected. BINGO Like you said...Ginger's a girl! GILLIGAN I'll get Mrs. Howell. Gilligan exits the hut to get Mrs. Howell. MARY ANN Oh...welcome to the island! GINGER They are cute! And will you look at that hair! How would you like to run your finger's through that!? MARY ANN Oh fingers!? I could go in up to my elbows! Mary Ann and Ginger start to make some moves on the Mosquitoes. Ginger starts to fell Bongo's hair as he backs away using Bingo as a shield. BONGO Please! Please! Bingo! BINGO Back! Back! Don't handle the merchandise huh! MARY ANN Ginger ah one of them is tall and one of 'em's is short, one of 'em's blond and one of 'em's is dark! GINGER Yeah! A smorgasbord! BONGO Down girls! Down! BINGO Peace and quiet! That's all we want is peace and quiet! We came here to get away from girls! CUT TO: EXT - HUT - DAY The Mosquitoes are coming out of the hut's doorway as Mrs. Howell is seen walking on camera with a pair of scissors. MRS HOWELL There you are! Thurston said you needed haircuts. BINGO Split man! It's the Barber of Seville! The Mosquitoes panic at the thought of having their hair chopped off by Mrs. Howell and frantically run away with Mrs. Howell hot on their heels. DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY The skipper is packing items into his sea chest. Gilligan enters the hut in an excited state. GILLIGAN Skipper!? Skipper, have I got some good news for you! SKIPPER It certainly is a good day for it Gilligan! GILLIGAN The Mosquitoes are going to give us just what we've been waiting for! SKIPPER You bet! A nice trip home! GILLIGAN No guess again. SKIPPER Guess again? GILLIGAN They're gonna give us a concert! SKIPPER A concert? Wa...wa...well who wants a concert now? We want to go home! GILLIGAN Should I go tell 'em? SKIPPER No, wait a minute Gillian. Maybe you better not tell 'em, we don't want to get 'em upset. We'll listen to their concert and THEN we'll go home! GILLIGAN I'll bet we're the luckiest people alive! SKIPPER We certainly are! We're finally being rescued! GILLIGAN No! I mean about the Mosquitoes giving us a concert! SKIPPER Oh well certainly yes. GILLIGAN Here let me help you. Gilligan closes the sea chest on the skipper's hand who yells out in pain. FLIP TO: INT - HUT - NIGHT Mr. and Mrs. Howell are getting ready to go to the concert. Mr. Howell does not appear overly enthusiastic. Mrs. Howell seems to enjoy the though of going out. The Mosquitoes can be heard playing rock and roll music in the background. MRS HOWELL Oh I just adore concerts! I do wish the Mosquitoes would stop tuning up and start the music. MR HOWELL They have stopped tuning up. That IS the music! MRS HOWELL Oh dear...OH DEAR Thurston, then we'd better hurry! They probably won't seat us in the middle of the first act! Come on darling! MR HOWELL I wish we could be that LUCKY that we wouldn't be seated at ALL! DISSOLVE TO: EXT - STAGE - NIGHT The Mosquitoes have been singing one of their hit songs and we come in just at the end of the song. MOSQUITOES Don't bug me, please just let me be...girl Don’t bug me, let my heart be free Go on now Don't bug me, please just let me be...girl The Mosquitoes end their first number and Mary Ann and Gilligan start screaming with delight. The Mosquitoes immediately begin their second number. MOSQUITOES One...two...three... He's a looser Pay no mind to what he says He's a looser He's got rocks in both his hands He's a looser He can't win can't place or show He's a looser And you know how much I hate to say... I told you so I told you so I told you so Trouble follows in his path The path that he's bad news Let him go don't call him back He's likely gonna loose He's a looser Call him anything you choose He's a looser If raced himself he'd loose He's a looser Always stops when he says go He's a looser And you know how much I hate to say... I told you so I told you so I told you so I told you so The Mosquitoes, ending their show take a bow. BINGO Well that's it for tonight! I wanna tell ya, ya been a good group. And that a...we're sure our next month here on the island is gonna be just too much. Thanks, good night. The Mosquitoes leave the stage as the castaways can be seen reacting to the news. SKIPPER Did he say another month!? MRS HOWELL Well don't they realize we'll miss the opera season!? MARY ANN Well I'm all packed! GINGER Well what are you smiling at Mr. Howell? MRS HOWELL What's wrong Thurston darling? GINGER He's been looking that way throughout the concert Mrs. Howell. PROFESSOR Maybe there's more to this tuneless discord than I can comprehend? GILLIGAN Maybe he developed an ear for rock and roll? MRS HOWELL Oh he's got his earplugs in. Thurston take them out. Mr. Howell doesn't respond. MRS HOWELL TAKE THEM OUT! He still does not respond. Mrs. Howell taps Mr. Howell on the shoulder to get his attention. Mr. Howell removes the earplugs. MRS HOWELL The concert's over dear. MR HOWELL Oh...oh oh the concerts...wonderful marvelous just just absolutely thrilling thrilling encore! SKIPPER Well here's something you'll get a thrill out of Mr. Howell. We're going to be here for another month! GILLIGAN Yeah, and they'll probably give concert after concert after concert! MR HOWELL Oh good heavens! My ear plugs! Mr. Howell quickly puts his ear plugs back in and looks as he did before during the concert. DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - NIGHT Gilligan and the skipper are in their hammocks. Gilligan is happily listening to the Mosquitoes music while the skipper is in absolute agony. GILLIGAN Skipper? Are you sleeping? SKIPPER No Gilligan I'm still listening to the music! GILLIGAN Yeah so am I! Isn't it wild? SKIPPER Wild? GILLIGAN I think it's really great that they're gonna to be here a whole month. Do you realize how much that'd cost to see them that often? SKIPPER Gilligan I hope I NEVER get that rich. GILLIGAN We'll have to be very very quiet if we want 'em to stay here on the island. SKIPPER Certainly little buddy, I'll walk around on tippy toes! GILLIGAN That's why they came to the island. To find peace and quiet, and if they don't get it, they might as well go back to the states. SKIPPER Never mind Gilligan. Suddenly the skipper realizes that in order to get the Mosquitoes to leave, they have to disrupt their peace and quiet. SKIPPER That's it! THAT’S IT! Gilligan! You've done it again little buddy! The skipper gets up and runs out the hut door excitedly. GILLIGAN Oh that's great! I did it again! What did I do? DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - NIGHT The Mosquitoes are all asleep in the sleeping bags when Mary Ann and Ginger pop up outside the hut's window. GINGER The Mosquitoes! MARY ANN The Mosquitoes??!! MARY ANN and GINGER AAAHHHHH!!! Both Mary Ann and Ginger start to enter the hut. Mary Ann and Ginger scream wildly like crazed fans. The Mosquitoes are awakened by the screams and are totally taken by surprise. Bingo jumps up to see what's going on. BINGO What was that! BANGO I don't know. What's happening!? BONGO I don't know! Mary Ann and Ginger, now in the hut, are still screaming and acting like crazed fans. (Transcribers note: The frenzy that follows is almost impossible to decipher. Bits and pieces of dialog can be heard, but it sounds more like adlibbing) MARY ANN I just love 'em!! GINGER It's so groovy!! MARY ANN I have to have a souvenir!! Mary Ann and Ginger grab a guitar and fight over it. GINGER I want it!! The guitar's neck breaks off. BONGO Hey my guitar! Look what you've done to my guitar! MARY ANN I want his pajamas!! GINGER I want one too! Mary Ann starts to grab Bongo's pajama top while he' standing in his sleeping bag helpless. BONGO Bingo Help!! Mary Ann succeeds in ripping his pajama top from him and is obviously thrilled. The professor can be seen entering the hut. BINGO That's enough! Enough girls! You girls have had your fun now...DOC give us a hand will ya!? PROFESSOR Ah later! Ah Mr. Bongo I should like to conduct an experiment. Now these electrodes will test your brain waves when you play. The professor attempts to put a crudely made pair of headsets on Bongo who reacts with horror. BONGO Ah! DOC no! Your not gonna make any Frankenstein out of me! PROFESSOR It won't hurt. It will just take a moment. GINGER Here's the one I like! The strong silent type! IRVING Yike!! GINGER Oh come on Irving! Gilligan reenters the hut carrying coconuts. Irving is seen leaping out the hut's window headfirst. GILLIGAN Oh boy a party! Gilligan walks over to a couple of the Mosquitoes with the coconuts. GILLIGAN Could you autograph these coconuts for me please? BANGO Do WHAT?! Mrs. Howell next enters the hut with a pair of scissors and starts making advances towards Bingo. BINGO This is ridiculous! This is ridiculous! Call off Mrs. money bags! The skipper enters the hut and begins his banter. SKIPPER All right it's time for your exercises! Deep knee bends! The skipper takes Bongo by the shoulders, still in his sleeping bag and forces him up and down. SKIPPER That's the thing, deep knee bends! Mr. Howell is the next and last to enter the hut. Now all seven castaways and the four Mosquitoes are together in what can only be called total chaos! MR HOWELL Gather around, gather around! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! As your new manager I have something to say. BINGO Oh no not you too! MR HOWELL I have plans that are really really really really big! Concerts, one night stands, movies, television... BINGO THAT DOES IT!! I mean it! That really does it! We're leaving tomorrow! Come on fellas lets get out of here. The Mosquitoes leave the hut leaving the castaways behind. SKIPPER Did you here what they said! We're leaving tomorrow!! The castaways are extremely happy and form a conga line and start chanting as they head out the door and into the clearing. ALL We're leaving tomorrow! We're leaving tomorrow! We're leaving tomorrow! CUT TO: EXT - HUT - NIGHT The castaways are all still in Conga line formation as they continue their chanting... ALL We're leaving tomorrow! We're leaving tomorrow! We're leaving tomorrow! We're leaving tomorrow... As the castaways conga off screen we... FADE OUT ACT TWO FADE IN: ESABLISHING SHOT - STOCK SHOT OF HUT EXTERIOR CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY The skipper and Gilligan are walking along a path leading to the hut where the Mosquitoes are staying. The skipper is carrying his sea chest on his shoulder while Gilligan is carrying his duffel bag over his. SKIPPER Hurry up Gilligan! GILLIGAN Ok. Bingo and Bango! We're ready to leave! SKIPPER Bongo? GILLIGAN Irving? SKIPPER Irving... GILLIGAN Well at least he could pluck. SKIPPER Is anybody home?! Gilligan opens the door and both look inside. They have a shocked look on their faces. SKIPPER Oh no! Gilligan they've...they've gone! They've gone without us! FLIP TO: EXT - HUT - DAY MR HOWELL But they couldn't they just couldn't! SKIPPER Mr. Howell they have! MRS HOWELL Couldn't what darling? MR HOWELL The Mosquitoes couldn't leave the island without us. MRS HOWELL Well of course they couldn't! GILLIGAN They already have! MRS HOWELL They did?! HHAAAAA Well in that case there's only one thing left to do. Get ready Thurston. MR HOWELL Yes dear. Mr. Howell catches Mrs. Howell as she faints into his arms. FLIP TO: EXT - HUT - DAY The skipper and professor are seated at a table concerned over their problem when Gilligan runs on camera with a coconut marked with an X. GILLIGAN Hey...Hey have you seen the autograph that Bango gave me!? See the X see! SKIPPER Yes we've seen it Gilligan! PROFESSOR I must admit that I underestimated the reaction that would set in. SKIPPER Oh professor we should've kept an eye on 'em! GILLIGAN You just don't understand 'em skipper. They're a high strung nervous type. I mean being sensitive musicians... SKIPPER Never mind that Gilligan. We start to hear music playing in the background. SKIPPER Gilligan will you turn that radio off! GILLIGAN What radio? PROFESSOR It's not around here skipper. SKIPPER Well how come I hear music? GILLIGAN They didn't go! SKIPPER We...we still got a chance of being rescued! GILLIGAN I'll go tell the others! SKIPPER Let's go Gilligan!! They all start to run towards the music. The professor gets away cleanly while Gilligan and the skipper end up repeatedly running into each other. They finally get it sorted out and run off camera. CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY The Mosquitoes are playing an instrumental as the skipper, Gilligan and the professor run into the clearing. SKIPPER Boy are we glad to see you fellas! GILLIGAN We thought you left the island without us! BANGO The word Bingo the word! BONGO Yah! BINGO Now look fellas...we're the friendly type you know...and we'd like to remain the friendly type. But we need rest! GILLIGAN But we can't help it if we're your fans! BANGO FANS!! The word Bingo the word! BINGO All right men now hear this...we're not splitting from this island for two months! SKIPPER Two Months!! BONGO Maybe longer! That crazy scene last night wound us up tighter than Presley's pants! SKIPPER Bu...but...but fellas you are going to take us with you aren’t you? BINGO Yeah when we give the word then we'll all move out! GILLIGAN That sounds fair. Mrs. Howell is seen running out of the jungle after Irving. She is trying to cut one Irving's hair with a pair of scissors. IRVING AAAHHHHH!! Irving runs away from Mrs. Howell. MRS HOWELL Don't go away! Don't go away from me! IRVING AAAHHHHH!! MRS HOWELL Don't go away, I just want to cut your hair with these nail scissors! BINGO And please take Delilah with you! DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY Gilligan and the skipper are seated at a table playing cards. GILLIGAN Got any queens? The skipper is searching his hand for a queen. He is visibly upset, not just at the card game but at the music playing. SKIPPER Fish! I can't stand it any longer Gilligan that music is driving me crazy! GILLIGAN Yeah it's too much isn't it? It's called "I want to go back to Pago Pago Pago Ya Ya Ya with you". SKIPPER Two months! In two months Gilligan I'm going from a deserted island to an isolation ward! A padded cell... Mr. Howell walks into the hut looking tired. GILLIGAN Did we wake you up Mr. Howell? MR HOWELL No I was only half asleep I lost one of my earplugs. Any of you happen to find it? SKIPPER No we haven't seen it Mr. Howell!! GILLIGAN Maybe one of the Mosquitoes found it. MR HOWELL Well I'm afraid to ask them they're so touchy! Skipper gets up in a huff. GILLIGAN What's the matter skipper? SKIPPER Oh Gilligan supposing we do stay on our side on the island...mind our own business for two months. I mean how do we know they're not going to change their minds. They disappeared once before they...they'd probably go off without us again! MR HOWELL Good grief you're right, the Mosquitoes might buzz off without us! GILLIGAN Oh they wouldn't do that. SKIPPER Oh Gilligan for goodness sakes...we're not dealing with regular people, we're dealing with musicians! They're in a world of their own! GILLIGAN Yeah I guess you're right. Show people just like show people. MR HOWELL By George have done it again! Amazing! Mr. Howell gets up and leaves the hut. GILLIGAN Oh boy I did it again! I sure wish I knew what I keep doing. DISSOLVE TO: STOCK SHOT OF PALM TREE AGAINST A BLUE SKY. CUT TO: INT - HUT - DAY Ginger, Gilligan, the skipper and Mr. Howell are discussing the plan. MR HOWELL Do you think it'll work? GINGER Oh I'm sure it will. All headliners want an opening act that'll make them look good! SKIPPER That's right Ginger! I mean we'll get up an act...We'll rehearse with them and everything...and we'll make them...look so good that they're bound to take us with 'em! GILLIGAN What act? GINGER Well you three! You're going to sing together! SKIPPER Wa...well what about the professor? GINGER Wa...well him too! GILLIGAN You mean we're going to have our own singing group? GINGER Uh-huh! MR HOWELL Well this is almost too much! I'm in showbiz! I'll be forever excluded from the Harvard club! FLIP TO: INT - HUT - DAY Gilligan is wearing strange looking clothing and Ginger is dancing the Watusi. GINGER Oh your pants look great Gilligan how do they feel? GILLIGAN Like Alligator skin...on an Alligator! GINGER Oh well they have to be tight all the musicians wear them like that. So they can do the Watusi while they're playing. GILLIGAN The Watusi! I can hardly walk around in 'em! GINGER Oh great...come on! It's really great come on! GILLIGAN All right I'll try it. No I'd better not. As Gilligan attempts the Watusi, Mrs. Howell enters the hut with a wig. MRS HOWELL Gilligan! Oh Gilligan I've got your wig all ready! GILLIGAN What do you know...instant hair! MRS HOWELL Put it on darling. Gilligan tries on the wig. GILLIGAN How do I look? MRS HOWELL Oh it looks just perfect! Except for one thing. You need a haircut! GINGER Oh no Mrs. Howell! No! No! MRS HOWELL But he does need a haircut! His bangs are too long! His bangs are way too long. The professor enters the hut carrying a set of drums fashioned from bamboo and vines. PROFESSOR Excuse me Mrs. Howell. Here are the drums. Now I have to work on the guitars. Here are the sticks. The professor hands Gillian the drum sticks. GILLIGAN OOOOO! GINGER Oh boy, now Gilligan see if you can play and Watusi at the same time. GILLIGAN Ok. Gilligan starts to beat on the drums using the sticks. GINGER Great! Gilligan tries to flip the sticks and looses one. He bends over to pick it ups when his pants rip. GINGER Whoops! OOHHH! Gilligan hearing the tearing sound knows what happened and being embarrassed, walks backwards out the hut's door. DISSOLVE TO: EXT - STAGE - DAY The four men are dressed in strange clothing and each one has an instrument. Gilligan is on the drums, while the other three have crudely built guitars. They start to play a very course song, which resembles one of the ones the Mosquitoes played earlier. On the drums Gilligan is playing is a drawing of a Gnat. (Transcribers note: With the exception of a few words, the "noise" the GNATs make is pure Gibberish) GILLIGAN One...two...two...three...four...five They play wildly on stage as Mary Ann, Ginger and Mrs. Howell look on from benches in front of the stage. The Mosquitoes, hearing the "music" and come watch. They actually watch in horror as the "Gnats" play one of their own songs. After the number is concluded, the Mosquitoes run off into the jungle. DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY The skipper is seated at a table looking depressed as Gilligan plays on the drums. GILLIGAN Skipper, all we need is a little more practice. SKIPPER Oh Gilligan, the Mosquitoes thought we were awful. GILLIGAN Oh boy, a little bit of criticism and you fall apart. You can't start from the top you know! SKIPPER Gilligan, I'll start from the top of your head and put you in the ground like a thumbtack! GILLIGAN Remember the show must go on! SKIPPER Gilligan will you please be quiet. I'm trying to think of another plan. GILLIGAN Won't you try it just once more? SKIPPER You just don't seem to understand do ya! No! No! No! GILLIGAN You got it skipper but it goes Ya, Ya, Ya, Ya... Gilligan walks out of the hut. CUT TO: EXT - HUT - DAY Gilligan is seen walking past a hut and comes acrossed Ginger seated at a table. Gilligan is still saying... GILLIGAN Ya, Ya, ya...Hey Ginger? GINGER Huh? GILLIGAN Your in showbiz, tell me were we? GINGER Gilligan that act couldn't get booked on Devil's Island. GILLIGAN Oh maybe if we picked a new song. GINGER I don't know how to put this Gilligan but were terrible. GILLIGAN Boy for somebody who doesn't know how to put it! GINGER I'm sorry, I mean... GILLIGAN My grandmother always use to say...Never criticize anybody else unless you could do better yourself! GINGER That's it! That's've done it again! Ginger gives Gilligan a big hug. GILLIGAN I don't know what I'm doing, but I sure as heck keep doing it! DISSOLVE TO: EXT - STAGE - DAY Mr. Howell is standing at the front of the stage getting ready to introduce the next act. Gilligan, the skipper and the professor are seated on the benches. MR HOWELL Now a trio with a really really big future. The girls with a...with a new sound, and here they are the Honeybees. The curtain opens revealing Mary Ann, Ginger and Mrs. Howell all wearing the same costume. On each of their chests is a large Bee. Mrs. Howell has a Beetles style wig on making here appear much younger. At the introduction, the men all begin to clap and cheer. INSERT: RECORD PLAYER BEING TURNED ON, AND THE NEEDLE ARM BEING PLACED ON THE RECORD. The music begins... ALL You need us You need us Like a clam needs a shell Like a prisoner needs a cell Like a ding-dong...Needs a bell You need us. GINGER You need me You need me Like a picture needs a star Like a golfer needs a par Like mm...Need a car You need me MARY ANN You need me You need me Like a baby needs a toy Like Hawaiians need their poi Like a girly...Needs a boy You need me MRS HOWELL You need a me You need me Like a diamond needs a ring Like a harp needs a string Like a Queen...Needs a King You need me ALL You need us You need us Like a Bee needs it's Buzz Like a Peach needs it's fuzz So that's why You need You need us Bzzzzzzzzzzz The Mosquitoes having heard the music come and watch. After the number is over, they and the other castaways all clap and cheer wildly. DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY The skipper is packing his sea chest and humming happily to himself. Gilligan is getting Mary and Ginger to autograph some coconuts for him. GILLIGAN Thanks for the autograph's girls. I tried to get Mrs. Howell's, but Mr. Howell was charging a dollar a piece for 'em. SKIPPER Gilligan will you finish packing! We see Mr. and Mrs. Howell entering the hut. MR HOWELL (To Mrs. Howell) I can hardly wait to get back to our car. We're double parked you know! MRS HOWELL Oh yes and we left the engine running. GINGER Come on let's go down to the beach. MARY ANN Ok. The professor enters the hut before Ginger and Mary Ann and leave and looks disappointed. He is carrying a square flat package. PROFESSOR Hold it hold it you can all just start to unpack! SKIPPER UNPACK!! What do you mean unpack!? PROFESSOR The Mosquitoes left us a message. GILLIGAN A message? MR HOWELL They can write? PROFESSOR Apparently. Professor begins reading the letter out loud. PROFESSOR Hi gang. Me and the boys... Professor is obviously distressed at the poor grammar. PROFESSOR Me and the boys decided to take off this morning when the helicopter came by with provisions. As for the Honey Bees... MARY ANN As for the Honeybees!? Mary Ann reacts immediately. She grabs the letter and continues. MARY ANN As for the Honeybees your good gals...just a little too good and we've got enough competition. But so there wouldn't be any hard feelings we left a gift for you. GILLIGAN A gift!? Oh I love presents! SKIPPER Oh never mind that Gilligan. Well what is it? Open it up! GILLIGAN I'm trying to skipper! Gilligan rips off the wrapping and discovers it's a... SKIPPER An album?! GILLIGAN Yeah the Mosquitoes at Carnegie Hall. Is that all? SKIPPER Well NOW what do think of your Mosquitoes?! GILLIGAN You're absolutely right! It was a terrible thing to do. Leaving us with an album…and they didn't even autograph it! SKIPPER Gilligan! The skipper takes off his hat to hit Gilligan with it but as Gilligan winces away from the skipper, the skipper steps on his foot instead. FADE OUT: EPILOG FADE IN: EXT - STAGE - DAY Mary Ann, Mrs. Howell and Ginger are seated on the benches as the three Gnats are playing the song they played before. It's still just as awful. GINGER If the world is lucky we'll NEVER get rescued! All three put earplugs in as we... FADE OUT: END CREDITS