Gilligan's Island Script
Episode #71, "Pass The Vegetables, Please"
(Gilligan finds a crate of radioactive seeds)



GILLIGANíS ISLAND "Pass The Vegetables, Please" by Elroy Schwartz March 22, 1966 TEASER FADE IN: 1.EXT - LAGOON - DAY MEDIUM SHOT - GILLIGAN We see the skipper walking with a fishing pole as he approaches the lagoon. Gilligan is seen seated on a rock holding a fishing pole with his line cast into the lagoon. SKIPPER How they biting little buddy? GILLIGAN They're not even gumming! The skipper casts his line into the Lagoon and is fishing alongside Gilligan. Both appear finally to have caught something. GILLIGAN Skipper, I got a bite! A real big one skipper! SKIPPER So do I! Mine must weigh fifty pounds! The skipper and Gilligan are now engaged in a frantic fight with the fish as they both attempt to real it in. In the process they begin to get their lines horribly entangled. SKIPPER Watch it little buddy you're fouling my line! Gilligan you're fouling my line, now get it loose! Watch my line little buddy, your getting it all fouled up! Gilligan you're fouling my line now get it loose! Get it loose! In the processes of trying to get their lines untangled the skipper steps back and puts his foot in a pail. SKIPPER Gilligan! AAHHHHHHH! The skipper falls back and drops his fishing pole, which starts to go into the Lagoon. SKIPPER Hurry Gilligan get my line! Get my foot out of this bucket! Pull it off! YAAHHHHHH! Hurry! Gilligan pulls the bucket off the skipper's foot and in the process, the skipper loses his shoe. SKIPPER Whose side are you on the fishes!? The skipper, having had enough decides to leave. SKIPPER Now catch dinner yourself! Gilligan will you hand me that shoe!? The skipper walks off camera as Gilligan is left all alone to fight bringing the fish to shore. Gilligan continues to tug and pull the big fish to shore as we see that it's not a fish at all but a small wooden crate with seaweed covering the top. GILLIGAN If that's a fish it must come packet in cans! After hauling the crate ashore, Gilligan removes the top cover setting it aside. He looks inside and is surprised to see: GILLIGAN OH BOY! Packages of seeds! Beets, Carrots, Spinach! Vegetables?! Skipper, professor look what I caught! Carrots and Beets and Spinach, vegetables! We zoom in on the cover laying on the ground to read what's printed on it. The writing reveals: DANGER EXPERIMENTAL RADIO ACTIVE SEEDS FADE OUT ACT ONE FADE IN: EXT - LAGOON - DAY 2. CLOSE SHOT - GILLIGAN, SKIPPER AND PROFESSOR. We see the Gilligan, the skipper and professor near the crate examining the contents. SKIPPER OH PROFESSOR look at this. We've got Cauliflower, we got Carrots... PROFESSOR Ah-huh Green Peas, Artichokes. SKIPPER Yes, and look at this, Idaho potatoes! It's been so long since I've tasted an Idaho potato, I won't know what it tastes like! GILLIGAN Are we gonna grow Idaho potatoes? SKIPPER That's right little buddy, we're going to grow Idaho Potatoes right here! GILLIGAN They're sure gonna have to have long roots. PROFESSOR Gilligan, catching this box of seeds is the best thing that you've done since we were marooned. SKIPPER Exactly little buddy, if you were a girl I'd kiss you. GILLIGAN Lucky me I'm a boy. PROFESSOR With these seeds, we'll have enough vegetables for as long as we're forced to stay here. SKIPPER Oh and don't forget, Mary Ann was raised on a farm so She's going to be a big help. GILLIGAN Hey...Hey professor? What's a Truffle? PROFESSOR Why it's a subterranean fungus with solid tubular like bodies. It's known for it's pungent qualities. It's most delectable. GILLIGAN Yah but can you eat it? PROFESSOR Why it's a gourmet's delight! GILLIGAN Yah but can you eat it? PROFESSOR That's what I've been trying to tell you Gilligan, it's delicious! GILLIGAN Oh you finally said a word I understood. SKIPPER Boy, wait till the others hear about this! FLIP TO: INT - HUT - DAY Mr. and Mrs. Howell have the opened crate in front of them and they're examining the different seed packets. MR HOWELL ...a veritable gold mine of goodies! Lovey look, your favorite, little, little sugar beets! MRS HOWELL Oh Thurston it's impossible! GILLIGAN No it says so right there on the package. MRS HOWELL But sugar beets come in cans! GILLIGAN No no first you have to plant them in the ground. MRS HOWELL Oh please don't be silly. I've seen them in their natural habitat, a Super Market. MR HOWELL Not shopping you understand, just sight seeing. MRS HOWELL Actually I was showing some visiting royalty a poverty pocket. GILLIGAN Mrs. Howell, sugar beets have to come out of the ground before you can put them in cans. MRS HOWELL Hew! What a perfectly ghastly idea! GILLIGAN You'll see when we plant then all in the ground. MR HOWELL I hope you're using the editorial WE. MRS HOWELL Thurston means you can't expect a Howell to dig in the ground. GILLIGAN But you have to dig before you plant. MR HOWELL If you mention manual labor ONCE more, I'm gonna order you OFF the property! MRS HOWELL Now you see Gilligan your silly notions have upset Mr. Howell. GILLIGAN Mrs. Howell if you really want sugar beets... MRS HOWELL Well I do, I do, I just adore them! GILLIGAN Well we all have to pitch in then. MRS HOWELL Oh well I intend to do my part I assure you. GILLIGAN Good...Dig, plant, water, fertilize or Pick? Which would you rather do? MRS HOWELL Eat! Gilligan picks up the crate of seeds and walks out.a FLIP TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY Mary Ann is examining the seed packets in the crate that Gilligan has brought. MARY ANN Beets...Squash...Lettuce... GILLIGAN My favorite is spinach. MARY ANN Huh, my favorite doesn't seem to be here. Well, spinach...cucumbers. Truffles? GILLIGAN Don't you know what a Truffle is? MARY ANN No. We never grew any in Kansas. GILLIGAN A Truffle is a subterranean tube that runs into a fungus. That runs into a fungus!? MARY ANN What?! GILLIGAN I wish the professor would learn to speak English. MARY ANN Radishes..Swiss Cha...CARROTS! GILLIGAN You like Carrots? MARY ANN Oh like them, I LOVE them! Oh Gilligan they're awfully good for you. Well the more you eat the better your eyesight! GILLIGAN Everybody knows that Carrots are good for your eyes! MARY ANN Why certainly! GILLIGAN After all, did you ever see a rabbit wearing glasses? Gilligan walks off camera. DISSOLVE TO: EXT - GARDEN CLEARING - DAY Gilligan is pulling a plow with the skipper at the reins. Gilligan is wearing a harness and has a bone in his mouth, which is being used as a bit. SKIPPER Whoa Gilligan. WHOA GILLIGAN! Gilligan your suppose to turn a little to the left! GILLIGAN Skipper I've never been a horse before. SKIPPER Well how much do you need to know to be a horse? We'll go over it again. Now, when I pull a little, you turn a little. When I pull a lot, you turn a lot. When I pull on both of them you're suppose to stop! The skipper pulls too hard and Gilligan is pulled backwards right into the skipper. SKIPPER You got it!? GILLIGAN Got it. SKIPPER All right let's try it again. GILLIGAN Isn't it time for lunch? SKIPPER Gilligan, horses don't eat lunch. Now lets get going. Skipper makes a clicking noise to get the horse (Gilligan) moving. SKIPPER CHK CHK CHK CHK GILLIGAN Huh? SKIPPER What do you do when I say CHK CHK CHK CHK. GILLIGAN (Gilligan whinnies like a horse) FLIP TO: EXT - GARDEN - DAY Mary Ann is examining the soil of the garden with the professor watching. MARY ANN Good soil but it's much to heavy for new plants. PROFESSOR Yes the water won't drain well enough to keep the seeds moist. GILLIGAN You better think of something quick. The skippers sitting at the table with a napkin tucked under his chin. PROFESSOR Well he's going to sit there for quite awhile because with this type of soil, it'll take even long for the vegetables to come up. MARY ANN I think my father use to use sand or something to help the drainage. PROFESSOR That's a good idea. Plenty of sand at the lagoon. Both Mary Ann and the professor take a look at Gilligan. Gilligan starts to laugh in disbelief. MARY ANN Gilligan. GILLIGAN AH look, I did all the weeding, and the planting, and the watering and everything! PROFESSOR An excellent job at that! MARY ANN Oh and we do need the sand. GILLIGAN Ok, but I bet your father didn't grow anything on his farm of his! MARY ANN He DID too! GILLIGAN How could he, I wasn't there to do all the work! DISSOLVE TO: EXT - LAGOON - DAY Gilligan is gathering up sand for the garden. He's using the lid of the crate to scrape sand into a bucket. We see the "Danger" printing clearly on the lid. DISSOLVE TO: EXT - GARDEN - DAY Gilligan can be seen clearly by a rock, but what he's working can not be. The skipper approaches to check on the gardens progress. SKIPPER Gilligan are you almost finished? GILLIGAN Almost. The skipper finally sees what Gilligan has been working on. SKIPPER A SAND castle!? GILLIGAN I had some extra sand. SKIPPER Looks like I'm wasting my time trying to mold YOUR character. GILLIGAN Is that what you're trying to do? SKIPPER Why certainly Gilligan. Why do you suppose I have you chop the wood, bring up water, pick up coconuts and work on the farm? I'm trying to strengthen your character. I'm trying to make you officer material. GILLIGAN Me an officer!? That's impossible! SKIPPER Why? GILLIGAN I'm too busy being the whole crew! SKIPPER Spread the sand Gilligan! You just don't underst... Gilligan throws sand all over the skipper. SKIPPER OVER THERE! DISSOLVE TO: SHOT OF MORNING SUNRISE OVER THE OCEAN THROUGH SOME PALM TREES DISSOLVE TO: EXT - GARDEN - DAY Three days later. We see the plants in the garden growing at a fantastic rate. Gilligan walks on camera holding a watering can made from bamboo. HE proceeds along the garden rows watering as he goes. He turns around only to see that the vegetables have grown to almost full size. GILLIGAN Hey skipper, Professor Mary Ann! PROFESSOR What's the matter! GILLIGAN The spinach is growing! PROFESSOR Oh that's impossible! GILLIGAN It is? Look! PROFESSOR Oh we only planted it three days ago! MARY ANN Gilligan what's the matter? GILLIGAN The Spinach is growing! MARY ANN Well it can't be! It takes at... Professor! PROFESSOR They look like Spinach plants. MARY ANN Well the Carrots are they coming up too? GILLIGAN Are they! Look! MARY ANN Oh, oh, the Carrots arenít they beautiful!? SKIPPER Is...is something wrong little buddy? GILLIGAN Nothings wrong, everything's perfect! PROFESSOR Well it seems that our vegetables have not only taken root, but they've begun to grow at a most miraculous rate! MARY ANN Well just look they're popping up all over the place! SKIPPER Little buddy I want to complement you. GILLIGAN Thanks skipper. SKIPPER You've really done a fine job. Put're there pal! The skipper shakes Gilligan's hand as Gilligan ends up pouring water from a watering can, all over the skipper's shoes. SKIPPER GIVE me this Gilligan! The skipper takes the watering can from Gilligan and dunks it in the water barrel to fill it up. He then raises Gilligan's head enough so he can place the nozzle of the can down the front of Gilligan's shirt. He fills up Gilligan's shirt until the point where Gilligan appears almost pregnant. DISSOLVE TO: EXT - GARDEN - DAY We see Mr. and Mrs. Howell examining the garden. MR HOWELL Oh look Lovey...Lovey look, look the...the Mushrooms are...are mushing! MRS HOWELL Yes, but the Beets are beating them. MR HOWELL Oh you had a witty one! MRS HOWELL Oh thank you dear! MR HOWELL Pretty soon the vegetables will be ready. Gilligan will pick them. Mary Ann will clean them, and Ginger will prepare them. MRS HOWELL Yes, but on second thought, oughtn't we do something? MR HOWELL Oh perish the thought! Every Hive must have a Queen, the rest are workers. MRS HOWELL Yes but I feel a little guilty. Maybe we should make some kind of an effort. MR HOWELL Ah, what do you suggest? MRS HOWELL Well ah...we could be a, host and hostess at a dinner party! MR HOWELL A vegetarian do! FLIP TO: EXT - GARDEN - DAY Mary Ann is examining the garden when she pulls a very strange looking carrot out of the ground. The carrot appears to have a large body with four carrots sticking out. MARY ANN I never saw anything like this back on our farm! Except under a cow! DISSOLVE TO: EXT - HUT - DAY Everyone is standing around the table. There are a large number of strange vegetables covering the table. The castaways are all astounded at what they see. MARY ANN Strange looking vegetables! What are these? GILLIGAN Cucumbers I think. MARY ANN Oh and what's this funny looking thing...corn? We see what appears to be a circular ear of corn. SKIPPER Well I...I...I guess that this is budget corn Mary Ann. MARY ANN Budget corn? The skipper places the ring of corn over his head. SKIPPER Yes, a, making both ends meet! A vegetarians delight! GILLIGAN They sure are funny looking! SKIPPER Well who cares what they look like. We've got fresh vegetables! PROFESSOR Perhaps being submerged in salt water has had an effect on the seeds. MARY ANN If my father ever saw string beans like this I think he'd faint! GILLIGAN They look more like Pretzel beans. SKIPPER Pretzels...Oh if we only had some beer to go with them! DISSOLVE TO: EXT - HUT - DAY Everyone is seated at the table. On the table are a wide variety of vegetables in bowls and plates. There is a lot of conversation going on that appears to be ad lib. GILLIGAN Skipper, pass the spinach please. SKIPPER Oh Gilligan that's the forth helping of spinach you've had! GILLIGAN Sixth, I snuck two. MR HOWELL Ah...Ah Ginger, would you please pass the Artichokes my dear. GINGER Oh sure Mr. Howell, do you like them? MR HOWELL Thank you. The way you prepared them reminds me of my chef Herman. The ONLY thing about you that reminds me of my chef Herman! Everyone is asking for their favorite vegetables. SKIPPER Professor, please the a, string beans. MARY ANN Mrs. Howell please pass the carrots. MRS HOWELL Oh yes of course dear. MARY ANN Oh we don't grow carrots like this back home. PROFESSOR I never realized how much I missed vegetables until now. GINGER I think the two things that I miss the most are, are vegetables and dates. GILLIGAN We have plenty of dates here on the island. GINGER Not the kind I miss. SKIPPER Professor, please the a, the string beans? MR HOWELL Would you ah...may I have the Artichokes? PROFESSOR Since we all seem to have our favorite vegetables, lets move them near us. GILLIGAN Spinach next to me. MARY ANN Oh the carrots please. MRS HOWELL Oh I just love beets, I want the beets! I adore sugar beets! Everyone is talking with each other about passing the vegetables. They are still dishing up vegetables and having a great time. The radio has been playing music in the back ground when all of a sudden the radio announcer starts to speak of the seeds. RADIO ANNOUNCER WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A NEWS BULLETIN FROM THE EXPERIMENTAL AGRICULTURAL LABRATORIES IN HAWAII. IT SEEMS THAT A BOX CONTAINING RADIOACTIVE SEEDS IS MISSING. PROFESSOR SHHHHHHH everyone, I think he said something about seeds! Everyone gets completely quiet. RADIO ANNOUNCER THE VEGETABLE SEEDS WERE IN A SMALL WOODEN CRATE AND INDIVIDUALLY PACKAGED. THESE RADIOACTIVE SEEDS ARE OF AN EXPERIMENTAL NATURE AND CONSIDERED DANGEROUS. THE BOX IS CLEARLY LABELED, DANGER, EXPERIMENTAL, RADIOACTIVE. ON THE CHANCE THEY DID NOT FALL OVERBOARD, ANYONE FINDING THEM OR KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT THEM, PLEASE CONTACT THE AGRICULTURAL DEPARTMENT IN HAWAII. LET ME REPEAT. THE SEEDS ARE RADIOACTIVE AND CONSIDERED EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. NOW BACK TO OUR PROGRAM OF CHEERY DAYTIME TUNES. The professor leans over and turns off the radio. GINGER Professor, do you suppose that? PROFESSOR Well he did say that the crate was clearly labeled. SKIPPER Well...we...we...well when Gilligan showed us the crate it didn't have a cover on it did it. GILLIGAN I took the cover off. PROFESSOR Do you know where it is? Gilligan gets up and picks up his chair as he says: GILLIGAN Made it into this bench right here. He lifts it up and we clearly see the DANGER label. GILLIGAN Nothing there, see! FADE OUT: ACT TWO FADE IN: ESTABLISHING SHOT: A SET OF PALM TREES WAVING IN THE WIND CUT TO: EXT - HUT - DAY Everyone except the professor is seated around the table. The professor is standing at the head of the table referring to a book he's holding. The camera slowly zooms in for a professor only close-up as he speaks. PROFESSOR ...Course this book is dated. It doesn't contain much information about the consumption of radioactive food. However, it does say that it's entirely possible that it could be fatal. But on the other hand it doesn't say it MUST be fatal. So you see there's no... The camera pulls back to reveal that all but the professor as fainted. PROFESSOR Now what could I have said to make them faint? DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY Gilligan is in the upper hammock and the skipper is in the lower one. The professor is seated at a table still reading his book and looking perplexed. SKIPPER Gilligan are you frightened? GILLIGAN No. SKIPPER Your not!? GILLIGAN I'm too scared to be frightened. The professor suddenly realizes something as he continues to read his book. PROFESSOR How dumb can I be!? SKIPPER Dumb? Well you're the smartest man I ever knew! PROFESSOR How could I be so stupid!? Of all the dumb... SKIPPER Well professor a, don't call yourself dumb just cause you can't find a cure for this disease. PROFESSOR We're doing the wrong thing! Lying still could kill us! We should be moving around! At hearing this, Gilligan and the skipper jump out of their hammocks and start a frantic race for the door. The professor leads the two out of the hut while Gilligan and the skipper continue their unorganized departure. DISSOLVE TO: EXT - LAGOON - DAY We see Mary Ann and the skipper near the edge of the lagoon pacing back and for. Mary Ann is looking tired. MARY ANN Oh skipper I've got to sit down I'm exhausted! SKIPPER Don't sit down Mary Ann, come on now. Don't you remember the professor said to keep our...our blood circulating, otherwise that radioactive stuff will settle in one place! Now come on! MARY ANN But I'm tired! After all I haven't got your legs! SKIPPER Well...we...well it's a good thing you haven't Mary Ann other wise you couldn't get in those shorts. Mary Ann suddenly looks up in amazement as she looks out at the ocean. MARY ANN Skipper a boat look! SKIPPER Where!? MARY ANN Over there! INSERT: SHOT OF OCEAN THROUGH THE PALM TREES. SKIPPER Where!? I don't see anything. MARY ANN It's white with blue trim and...and has a bridge or something covered in glass and a lifeboat hanging on the end. SKIPPER Are you sure!? I don't see anything. Mary Ann are you all right? MARY ANN Oh I'm feeling fi... Oh skipper I'm not seeing things! There's a boat right over there! SKIPPER Professor! Quick! Mary Ann I think that radioactive stuff is making you see things! Professor! Quick! Come on Mary Ann! DISOLVE TO: EXT-HUT-DAY Mary Ann and the skipper come running on camera from the lagoon looking for the professor. SKIPPER Professor! Professor! PROFESSOR What's the matter!? SKIPPER Where's...Oh there you are. Mary Ann sees a boat out there. MARY ANN It's white with blue trim. INSERT: SHOT OF THE OCEAN THROUGH THE PALM TREES PROFESSOR But I don't see anything out there but water Mary Ann. MARY ANN I can even see the people on the deck! Oh...there's a man in a red and white-stripped tee shirt. Another man in a, in a blue shirt and blue slacks, and two beautiful women in bikinis. SKIPPER OH I wish I could see that! PROFESSOR But I don't see anything out there. MARY ANN I know I'm not imagining it! Why, it's just as plain as your book over there. PROFESSOR You can see my book? MARY ANN Well of course! It's on the stump. ON the hill! PROFESSOR But that's a half a mile away! MARY ANN It's ah, turned to page one seventeen, some sort of chemical equation...hree N O two plus H two O equals two H N O three plus N O. PROFESSOR Well that's incredible! SKIPPER Well but professor, if she can see the book...maybe there is a boat out there! MARY ANN Why would I say there was a boat out there if there wasn't? PROFESSOR Well keep your eye on the boat just in case. Come on skipper, let's go build a signal fire! Mary Ann starts to try and signal the boat with yelling and waving her arms. MARY ANN OVER HERE! Oh come over here! SKIPPER Boy professor, what a great time to be rescued. Now they can take us to the hospital and, and we can get cured of the radioactive whatchamacallit what ever it is. PROFESSOR Skipper that's it! That's the reason for her fantastic eyesight! SKIPPER What are you talking about? PROFESSOR Well Mary Ann ate those carrots. Now the radioactive treatment of those seeds must have magnified the Carotene! SKIPPER Carotene? PROFESSOR Well that's the chemical in carrots that's necessary for good eyesight! SKIPPER Well then that proves that she saw that boat out there! Come on let's get this fire started. GILLIGAN! GILLIGAN! Gilligan comes running on camera from behind the hut. GILLIGAN What are you doing? SKIPPER Well obviously Gilligan we're building a fire. GILLIGAN For a merit badge huh? SKIPPER No not for a merit badge! We're trying to signal that boat out there! GILLIGAN What boat? INSERT: SHOT OF OCEAN THROUGH THE PALM TREES SKIPPER The boat out there! GILLIGAN I don't see any boat. SKIPPER Of course you don't. GILLIGAN Do you? SKIPPER No! GILLIGAN Professor do you see the boat? PROFESSOR Oh I can't see it either. GILLIGAN But it's out there right? SKIPPER Look, Mary Ann saw the boat out there. GILLIGAN Can you see Mary Ann? SKIPPER No, how can I see Mary Ann when she's not even here? GILLIGAN The same way you can see the boat. SKIPPER Gilligan will stop that! Will you go get some firewood for the fire? GILLIGAN To signal the boat that we can't see right? SKIPPER Exactly! GILLIGAN Professor, what kind of boat is it we can't see? PROFESSOR Ah...white with blue trim, and it's got two men and two women on it. SKIPPER Yah and the women are wearing bikinis! GILLIGAN OOOOOO I wish I could see them...even if they're not there! SKIPPER For the last time Gilligan, will you get over to that tree and get some fire wood for the fire!? GILLIGAN I have a better idea! SKIPPER What!? GILLIGAN Since we're make believing there's a boat, let's make believe we have a fire! SKIPPER GILLIGAN!! GILLIGAN I'm going. You don't have to yell. SKIPPER YES I DO! Now will you get the firewood!? CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY Gilligan is seen walking on camera and over to a fallen tree. We see Gilligan ponder what to do as he grabs the tree by a large branch and lifts the entire tree off the ground to his amazement. The skipper looks up and sees what Gilligan is doing in amazement. GILLIGAN Skipper? Where do you want it? SKIPPER Professor! The skipper and the professor walk off camera and over to where Gilligan is. SKIPPER Gilligan little buddy how did you pick that tree up!? GILLIGAN With one hand! SKIPPER Wha...well it must be hollow! PROFESSOR Well it must weigh four or five hundred pounds! SKIPPER Oh that's ridiculous professor. If it weighed four or five hundred pounds he couldn't lift it up! Skipper tries to pick up the tree by the same branch that Gilligan used and can't seem to budge the tree. SKIPPER I can't budge it! Gilligan, how did you do that!? PROFESSOR Spinach, the spinach, Gilligan kept eating the spinach. The radioactive treatment of the seeds must have magnified the potency of the oxalic minerals. That's how you get strength from eating spinach! SKIPPER Well right now let's worry about that boat out there! Gilligan since you're so strong, break off those branches and get the fire going real good! Gilligan breaks off a few of the branches and is looking rather smug about it. SKIPPER All right Gilligan now will you stop playing games and put it on the fire! MARY ANN Oh you can forget about the fire, the boats gone. SKIPPER Gilligan this is all your fault! IF you hadn't found that crate of seeds out there! PROFESSOR Now hold it skipper, hold it. We were all excited about finding those seeds, and he didn't know they were contaminated. SKIPPER Of course your right professor, I'm sorry little buddy, forgive me... The skipper starts to shake Gilligan's hand and Gilligan's extra strength starts to show. SKIPPER Gilligan will you let go! You're crushing my hand! MARY ANN What's happened? PROFESSOR Well it's those radioactive vegetables Mary Ann. They've given you fantastic eyesight and Gilligan super power. Well the potentials are unlimited. Why the increase in the potency of the vitamins alone could make us healthier than we ever were before. SKIPPER Yes if they don't kill us first! GILLIGAN Yah we'll be the healthiest dead people around. PROFESSOR Mrs. Howell!? MARY ANN What about her? PROFESSOR Well she kept eating those sugar beets. SKIPPER Well so what. PROFESSOR Well sugar is energy. I wonder what effect it's had on her? CUT TO: INT - HUT - DAY Mrs. Howell is seen moving at twice a person's normal speed as she moves around the hut. She's putting things away and making beds etc. MR HOWELL Lovey what has happened to you? Lovey slow down! I'm exhausted just watching you! At least take a coffee break! MRS HOWELL Good idea! Mrs. Howell sits for just a moment and has some more sugar beets to eat. She gets up and races out the door. Mr. Howell follows her to the door in amazement. MR HOWELL I may enter that woman in the Olympics. FLIP TO: EXT - HUT - DAY Gilligan is seen holding the skipper up who is laying in a lounge chair. Gilligan appears to be exercising using the skipper as his weights. SKIPPER Hey Gilligan would you mind putting me down. I'm getting thirsty, I'd like to get something to drink. Gilligan puts the skipper back down on the ground. SKIPPER Thank you little buddy. Say, what about you? You've been doing all the exercise, arenít you thirsty? GILLIGAN Oh yah! I'll go get us some coconut milk. SKIPPER Fine. Gilligan goes to a table with coconuts and picks one, which promptly is crushed. SKIPPER Gilligan you're a walking disaster area. You've got to learn to be careful. Now pick up a coconut, but be gentle. Gilligan picks up another coconut, this time without breaking it. SKIPPER There...see, that's much better, now just toss it over here Gilligan. Gilligan tosses the coconut, but way too hard and it sails past the skipper's head and right through the wall of the hut he's sitting next to. SKIPPER Gilligan I told you to be careful! GILLIGAN I'll fix it skipper. Gilligan runs over to the hut to fix the hole. SKIPPER NO Gilligan don't touch it! It's too late. Gilligan has now torn an even larger hole in the hut wall. PROFESSOR Skipper! Skipper! Gilligan! SKIPPER Wa...wa...what's happened!? PROFESSOR I think I've found a cure for us! SKIPPER Wa...Great! GILLIGAN YAH! PROFESSOR I've applied the principles of theoretic chemistry to the problem of radioactivity. Now the best preventative for the internal bombardment of radioactive particles is through their containment by hydrocarbons. GILLIGAN Would you mind repeating that? PROFESSOR Not at all. I've applied the principals of theoretic chemistry to the problem of radioactivity. SKIPPER Oh come on professor, never mind all the scientific lingo. What are you trying to tell us? PROFESSOR That our best protection against the vegetables we've eaten is through hydrocar... well that is to say through plant fats. And the best source of plant fat is the soap we've been making here on the island. GILLIGAN Do you mean we have to take a bath with that soap? PROFESSOR No we shall have to consume it internally. GILLIGAN Oh thank goodness. For a minute there I thought we were going to have to eat it! FLIP TO: INT - HUT - DAY We see everyone seated at the table with a plate of what appears to be cheese on it, but in fact are bars of soap. GINGER Do we really have to eat soap professor? PROFESSOR Absolutely! GILLIGAN It seems a shame to wash out my mouth with soap when I didn't say anything bad. SKIPPER Gilligan, you are going to eat a piece of soap and I'm going to sit here and see that you do! Now take a piece of soap! All right now, start eating! Gilligan...eat! GILLIGAN This stuff just tastes awful! SKIPPER Never mind that Gilligan, just do as the professor says. As they continue to eat the soap, large quantities of bubbles are coming out of everyone's mouths. MARY ANN OH! Just call me bubbles! GINGER OH MY GOODNESS! This could be the start of a whole new career! Ginger Grant, bubble dancer! PROFESSOR It's working, the hydrocarbons are absorbing the radioactivity! Keep eating! GILLIGAN When's this going to stop! PROFESSOR Everything's going to be all right! CUT TO: EXT - HUT - DAY The camera pulls back to reveal the hut and soap bubbles floating all over the place. The castaways can be heard laughing and talking amongst them selves. FADE OUT: EPILOG FADE IN: INT - HUT - NIGHT Gilligan is lying in the top hammock as the skipper works on the door of the hut. SKIPPER Gilligan, the professor said we're all cured. Isn't that good news? GILLIGAN Yah, but that soap didn't taste bad after you got use to it. SKIPPER Oh I thought it tasted awful! Gilligan is seen sneaking a bite of the soap and hiding it from the skipper. GILLIGAN Mmmm, I thought it tasted good. SKIPPER Gilligan, are you eating something? GILLIGAN Me? SKIPPER Your not eating...your not eating anymore of that soap!? GILLIGAN What ever gave you that..Hip..Hip..Hip.. As Gilligan hiccups a giant bubble forms. SKIPPER Gilligan! Gilligan? The giant bubble that was forming as Gilligan hiccuped is getting bigger. The skipper places his fingers in his ears just before the bubble finally explodes with a loud boom! FADE OUT: END CREDITS